Learning is primarily a matter of personal discipline; students cannot be motivated by school or college alone.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
I personally believe that personal regulation is crucial part in learning since schools have their limitations to motivate students and they can’t solely motivate students as an external stimulation . And personal management matching with beneficial communication from school or colleges can lead students to perform better in learning.
Firstly , the students who really wants to learn must have some strong will, persistence and other personal discipline abilities. And college’s motivation is just one ordinary factor for him to keep his learning which is much less important than his own personality . For instance , in many university, some students have great hunger of knowledge and they just give their hundred percent to learning and show persistence in their learning. They usually got better score in universities than those who reluctantly learn relying on college’s motivation . And after graduation , even when when these students are very busy in their job , they never stop their pursuit for knowledge since most jobs needs them to learning new knowledge and improve their knowledge system timely in their post . Without colleges’ motivation , they are still persistent in learning So such a simple example shows that self-discipline as an important characters is mu as scholarship and some activities to motivate students , but students ultimately listen to their inner voice and make their own choice . Take Albert Einstein for example. Since his father wanted him to become an electronic engineer, he was forced to attend school to study a st in learning fields .
Secondly , the schools or colleges plays a constructive role in helping and motivating a student for learning but they don’t perform well in helping students to find they true talents and realize their success in academic fields . In most of time , school or colleges can use some measures stewed array of subjects such as history and literature. But Einstein was not interested in learning these subjects and he failed most of them. However, he found his real interest in science and mathematics, and his self-discipline in these subjects allowed him to climb the ladder of success as a renowned physician. If schools continuously forced him to study other subjects, he would not be able to become a famous scientist and lionized by people around the world. Therefore, school motivation alone are not enough to educate students .
On the other hand, those students can enhance their self-discipline in learning as well as seeking for school’s help to achieve their best . For example , students with strong inner motivation to learn now can take many online courses and rely on many e-books on their academic fields by themselves. And if they make more communication with teachers on those problems they can’t solve just by self-taught , they can perform better in their studying . Teachers’ help and praise as an exterior inspiration can also help their gain their confidence on their studying . Therefore inner motivation and exterior motivation to learn together inspire students to performance better in their studying .
In short, Schools motivation as a exterior factor can encourage students to learn more actively . But inner motivation is an much more important factor for students . So learning is chiefly a matter of personal management for students. If students with strong self-control can place more emphasis on the communication with students , they will performance better in their learning .
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is crucial part
is the crucial part
the students who really wants to learn must have some strong will,
the students who really want to learn must have some strong wills,
the schools or colleges plays a constructive role
the schools or colleges play a constructive role
Sentence: In short, Schools motivation as a exterior factor can encourage students to learn more actively .
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to Schools and motivation
Sentence: If students with strong self-control can place more emphasis on the communication with students , they will performance better in their learning .
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to will and performance
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 547 350
No. of Characters: 2872 1500
No. of Different Words: 248 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.836 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.25 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.786 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 222 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 176 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 137 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.88 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.057 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.76 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.497 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5