The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
It is a widespread belief that luxuries and conveniences of modernity prevent people from becoming really strong and footloose persons. It is hard to disagree with this stance because we all know examples when people become addict to the internet, video games, social services and TV. However, may we confidently assert that that those luxuries cause the people’s behavior? Perhaps the answer is not because there is no explicit evidence that those miracles of contemporary life prevent someone from his/her development. Therefore I disagree with the issue.
Firstly, the same luxuries and conveniences have different impact on distinct people. To prove this stance, we may take a look at, for example, two brothers, who have similar access to luxuries and convenience of modernity because they share the same house, may develop different personal characteristics. One brother may become addict to the internet and online -games, live with his parents and have no job or desire to find it. The second brother may become strong and reliable person who is responsible for his life and future. Consequently, the availability of modern luxuries does not inevitably determine personal qualities.
What is more, a person may change dramatically his or her personal characteristics in case one’s circumstances will require it. For example, it is a common truth that military service may strikingly change person's attitude to life and turn a weak and needy person into strong and independent one. For example, a man who today is gang-member and leads reckless and irresponsible life-style, may become a responsible member of society after serving in military organizations such as NAVY or Army and my own step-brother is a good example of such change despite the fact that he still had access to the internet and other luxuries during being a soldier. To put it in other words, circumstances may influence on person's characteristics as well.
Finally, perhaps, luxuries and convenience of modern life may even help us to become truly independent. Having them as a distraction which lures us, may help to forge ours will and determination which are often considered as two facets characterized with strong personality. For example, I assume that many of mine contemporaries has a personal computer with access to the internet, it can be used for entertainment and leisure or for studying and learning, the choice is up to us. Each time when we decide to abstain from the luxury or use it properly and wisely we strengthen our will and become more strong and independent. In other words, to have a choice and make a right decision helps us enormously to determine yourself and create desirable personal characteristics which are often seen as a sign of strong individual. As a result, I profoundly believe that today’s luxuries may help many of us to forge our will.
In conclusion, although many of us unquestionably accept an idea that modern luxuries and conveniences undermine our development and make us weak and dependable, I strongly believe that they do not prevent our development, they are a mere items or tools which may be used with positive and negative effect on our personal qualities. In other words, they should not be blamed in our weaknesses.
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2016-11-03 | leanwolfketan | 50 | view |
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Sentence: However, may we confidently assert that that those luxuries cause the people's behavior?
Description: The fragment that that contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
many of mine contemporaries has a personal computer
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Arguments: OK. You are on the right track.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 533 350
No. of Characters: 2666 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.805 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.002 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.958 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.227 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.128 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.864 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.212 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5