Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country. They may control the number of children has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way.Do you agree or disagree? - rewrite
Concerns on overpopulation catastrophes have lead some countries to introduce new rules to control the number of children within a family. As an example some have come up with policies such as, if a family gets children more than the number declared in the policy, parents will be subject to pay a penalty. Even though population growth might be a problem policies such as these abuse human rights.
Not everyone are financially equal in any country. Even penalties were introduces, some are capable of paying it and have more children as per their desire. As a matter of fact poor people are the ones who will be struggling in this situation most, such as in most of the social problems. Nevertheless rich or poor, everyone should have equal rights on taking decisions about their children and families, not the government.
Besides that this policy has the potential to create negative social consequences such as encouraging illegal abortions. With grappling financial statuses women will seek the help of abortions, putting mother's and child's lives at stake. Indeed this will create more complications and issues in personal lives, physically and mentally.
I agree to the fact that overpopulation needs to be controlled, but it should not be by force such as rules or taxes. Government needs to educate citizens about the consequences and how to prevent the social and environmental problems that could deteriorate with high population. Through education government can make an awareness within the society about the importance of birth control.
Concluding the facts my opinion is, a government should not control the population through rules but through more ethical ways. It should be each family's choice to decide if they want more children or not ,depending on their strengths.
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Comments
Other than grammar mistakes
Other than grammar mistakes how to improve this essay?
You have same flaws in this
You have same flaws in this essay:
No. of Different Words: 162 200
We give it 6.5 to remind you the flaws. The essay may get 7.0 or 7.5 in actual IELTS exam without grammar errors.
Sentence: Concerns on overpopulation catastrophes have lead some countries to introduce new rules to control the number of children within a family.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and lead
Sentence: Not everyone are financially equal in any country.
Description: A pronoun, nominal is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', present tense, 2nd person singular or all
Suggestion: Refer to everyone and are
Even penalties were introduces,
Even penalties were introduced,
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 290 350
No. of Characters: 1471 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.127 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.072 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.78 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.362 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5