TPO 07- Independent essay
In this days and era, television advertising represents a consistent part of what is broadcasted on television. Some advertisements are very strong and convincing and it's very important to be prepared to deal with them. This holds true especially for children. They are not mature enough for not being hypnotized by those appealing ads. In this essay, I will elaborate on why I believe that children should be allowed to watch television including tv advertising by giving some explanations.
To start with, avoiding the problem is not the solution. I don't think that setting limits on tv advertising is the right option. Parents should not ban tv advertising as this is not a way to solve the problem. Indeed, it has been demonstrated that prohibition feeds the issue itself. Much more a parent prohibits something, much more the kid wants the prohibited thing. Prohibition is fascinating and a parent should know as he/she has been kid in turn.
In addition, I support the idea that parents are supposed to be present in their childrens'life. They have to find the time to monitor on their childs and explain them what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes, parents are too busy with their own things and they leave their children in front of the tv without taking care of them properly. Doing so, these children grow up without balance or sense of judgment. I can recall my mother explaining me what was true and what not, everytime that I asked her buying me something that was advertised on tv. Even though, I was just a child she has been a constant presence in my life, she spent time explaining what I could eventually believe and what was definitely false. Spending time in such a way is never a waste of time for a parent, it's an investiment on their childs' growth.
To further sustain my opinion, I would like to report that parents should use the so called "no" therapy. Indeed, some psycologists sustain that receiving negative answers may help children to develop a critical and mature mindset. This is the reason for which parents, instead of banning tv advertising, should let children watching tv and then say no when their kids ask them to buy something advertised on tv. This represent the proper way to handle this kind of situation.
In a nutshell, parents mentoring together with a deep and careful supervision will help children to understand the real nature of television advertising. In this way, parents don't have to deprive their sons of a part of their leisure time instead they will follow them very closely, learning them to be aware of all the pitfalls of advertising since they are young.
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- TPO 07- Independent essay 80
Sentence: In this days and era, television advertising represents a consistent part of what is broadcasted on television.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and days
This is the reason for which parents, instead of banning tv advertising, should let children
This is the reason for parents, instead of banning tv advertising, should let children
Sentence: In addition, I support the idea that parents are supposed to be present in their childrens'life.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Sentence: I can recall my mother explaining me what was true and what not, everytime that I asked her buying me something that was advertised on tv.
Error: everytime Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Spending time in such a way is never a waste of time for a parent, it's an investiment on their childs' growth.
Error: investiment Suggestion: investment
Sentence: Indeed, some psycologists sustain that receiving negative answers may help children to develop a critical and mature mindset.
Error: psycologists Suggestion: psychologists
flaws:
No. of Words: 456 while No. of Different Words: 228
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2120 1500
No. of Different Words: 228 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.649 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.66 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.697 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.292 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.266 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.476 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5