A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits.
The author of this memo suggests that for controlling the employees on the work, it is beneficial to install monitoring software. He states that employees use company's computers to their recreational activities and play games. He also imparts that controlling the employees by the internet software allow them to increase their productivity and profits. The close scrutiny of this memo reveals that all mentioned reasons are based on doubtful propositions.
First of all, the argument relies on a shaky assumption that regarding to the national survey employee use personal activities. The writer fails to consider a precise data about survey. It is entirely possible that employees use personal computers in the time when they have break, thus playing game and recreational activities are not part of their work in the company. In addition, the argument provides no data about other workers who have no Internet accessibility since they concentrate on their work rather than their personal activities.
Second, the arguer cites that to improve the employees' productivity the company should install a monitoring company Internet use from their workstation. Without rolling out some other explanations, the author cannot convince me that this is the case. It is plausible to seem that this software never be able to monitor workers. The author should provide more information about affordability of software in the company. The author also states this effort reduce the hours employees use computer for recreational activities. It is entirely possible that this play game enhance the quality of employees' work on their job since recreational activities enhance the productivity of the company. Such a kind of effort would have been reliable if the author would have been provided more information about the quality of workers in the company.
Third, the writer indicates that installing monitoring software will pave the way to enhance the productivity of company and prevent waste time in the company by employees and leads to productivities and profits. The author of this passage fails to see other factors affecting the productivity of the company. It is possible that number of workers and geographical region of the company never allow to more productivities and profits. Or perhaps the worker use the Internet for company' profit. Therefore, the author should provide the more solid evidence about validity of software in all companies.
All in all, based on poor evidence and unsubstantiated assumptions, the author's reasoning does not provide concrete evidence for support his conclusion. Had these details been mentioned along with supporting evidence, it would have been more through and convincing. To bolster this argument the author should provide more authentic data about discussed issues above maybe by a local survey or study.
- integrated writing about decline in birds' population 83
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- easier education of children by parents 60
- whether young people help other persons 60
- Some people pursue career paths that lead to management position. Other follow career paths leading to positions of individual responsibility, which do not involve managing others. 70
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argument 1 -- not OK. In GRE/GMAT, we have to accept all data or evidence are true. It is important to find out loopholes behind surveys or studies. Loopholes mean that we accept all surveys told are true, but there are some conditions applied, for example:
It works for time A (10 years ago), but it doesn't mean it works for time B (nowadays).
It works for location A (a city, community, nation), but it doesn't mean it works for location B (another city, community, nation).
It works for people A (a manager), but it doesn't mean it works for people B (a worker).
It works for event A (one event, project... ), but it doesn't mean it works for event B (another event, project...).
here we can argue that the survey works for a national survey, but it may not work for the company.
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argument 2 -- not OK. people may use their smart phone go internet instead.
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2362 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.308 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.826 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.348 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.975 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.391 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.33 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.524 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5