A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits.
Citing a recent national survey the vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries concludes here that reducing the time employees spend on personal and recreational activities will increase productivity and improve overall profits. However, argument relies on a series of unproven assumptions and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.
To begin with, the argument assumes that employees of Climpson Industries waste time on internet on company computers based on a recent national survey. The survey does not give any information on what business sectors were covered in survey and which sector employees wasted most time on company computer. Perhaps it could be, employees in Climpson Industries spent least amount of time for personal use on company computers. To support the argument the survey should be done specifically for employees of Climpson industries.
Even if the employees on Climpson Industries spend time on company computers on personal use it is unfair to assume that it would result in reduced productivity and decrease profits. It is entirely possible that employees spending some time of their work for recreational use on company computers relieves them of stress and improves their productivity.
The argument assumes that using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities but limiting the use of company computers through electronic monitoring for office work only might lead employees to use their smart phones to access internet for personal use and leave implementation of these measures as futile.
The argument claims that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits. Here the recommendation from vice president doesn’t suggest how monitoring the employees will improve employee’s productivity and time usability. From all what we know that is employees could be spending much of the time in canteen, playing computer games which doesn’t require internet or playing games on their mobile phones. There are no measures or actions listed in recommendation if a employee spends too much time on company computer on personal use.
The overall profits of the company might depend on variety of factors so it cannot be assumed that implementing VP’s recommendation would improve overall profits. Implementing of monitoring software could affect company profits in a negative manner as it would require considerable amount of initial setup investment and in future would require expenditure for regular IT maintenance.
In sum, the argument is a dubious one that relies on series of unproven assumptions. We can conclude that the recommendation from Vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries to company president has many fallacies in it and should not be approved without proper statistical study on company employees wasting time on company computer and what measures could be taken to improve their productivity.
- A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we s 69
- Critical judgment of work in any given field has little value unless it comes from someone who is an expert in that field. 50
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 473 350
No. of Characters: 2584 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.664 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.463 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.943 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 220 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 180 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 125 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 73 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.922 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.353 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.394 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.687 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 362, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[3]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'spent the least'.
Suggestion: spent the least
...ld be, employees in Climpson Industries spent least amount of time for personal use on comp...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 91, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'preventing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: preventing
...nitor employees Internet use will allow to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby in...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 598, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... or actions listed in recommendation if a employee spends too much time on compan...
^
Line 11, column 234, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative manner" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...g software could affect company profits in a negative manner as it would require considerable amount...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, so, therefore, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2657.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 471.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.64118895966 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65859790218 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0273358171 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426751592357 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 834.3 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.004051405 57.8364921388 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 156.294117647 119.503703932 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.7058823529 23.324526521 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.70588235294 5.70786347227 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.310346124904 0.218282227539 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116437876418 0.0743258471296 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0635356682295 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166074950739 0.128457276422 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.052369984958 0.0628817314937 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 14.3799401198 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 27.15 48.3550499002 56% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.197005988 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.73 12.5979740519 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.63 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.