Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Children are an essential group of our society and parents should be cautious with the decisions which they are making for their children. So, should parents encourage their children to have a job? Everyone will answer this question based on his/her own characters, emotional concerns or personal experience. Since a logical response requires an accurate analyses from both sides, I claim that taking a part-time job is a great option for teenagers to pick and parents should encourage their children to do it; therefore I present the following justifications.
The feeling of independence is the first and the most significant advantages which children can obtain by taking a part-time job, while even critics can't raise question on this point. Depending on the jobs which children do, they can gain some money. Even though that this money is not considerable, it can aid them to buy some stuffs or shirts that they need, without asking their parents for cash. Consequently, a child can experience the independence feeling while he is a teenagers and by going further, he can be independent sooner than his friends.
Another noteworthy aspect that should be addressed in this ongoing explanation is that students will learn many things in order to be prepared for their future career. Having a part time job is the best opportunity to learn some subjects and skills that aren't available in the schools. For instance, if a student decides to work in an English book store, he/she has chance to meet English people and improve his/her speaking skills. In this cases schools are neither sufficient nor satisfying to learn this subjects.
Last but not least, by having a job, children can improve their social skills, and we shouldn't be unaware of this point. They have to communicate with a wide range of people in their work environment. Building the perfect social abilities is a crucial merit which children can acquire during their job, and it can aid them in their future life. They need to make new friends and build a relationship with the people whom are dealing with, and this goal can't be achieved without sufficient social skills. Having a job is not only a financial support for their expense, but also a great chance to learn how to make new friends.
To sum up, although countless sightless people disapprove the title statements, by taking all the considerations and factors into account, I assert that all parents should encourage their teenagers to have a part time job.
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- TPO6 Integrated Essay 70
parents should be cautious with the decisions which they are making for their children
parents should be cautious with the decisions which are made for their children
parents should be cautious with the decisions made for their children
Even though that this money is not considerable,
Even though this money is not considerable,
he is a teenagers
he is a teenager
with the people whom are dealing with,
with the people whom they are dealing with,
with the people who are dealing with, //check out books for 'whom and who'
flaws:
reason 2 and reason 3 are very similar.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.53 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.817 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5