Some people believe that it is impossible to help everyone in need around the world. That is why governments should only focus on helping people of their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.
Helping others is supposed to be the best trait of mankind. Therefore, most of the nations are stepping forward to assist each other. Presently, it has been a burning issue whether administrations should take initiative to help people of other nations or focus on the needs of masses in their home countries. Here, i would like to discord with the given statement.
There are multifarious points to shore up my view. First and foremost, assistance given to other nations bridges the gap among countries. To be specific, many prosperous countries assisted Japan's people who became the victim of tsunami. More significantly, thriving and under developed nations also made a sizeable contribution to prevent the down trodden people. As a result, it develops the sense of fraternity among nations which is imperative for the peace of whole world. What is more, affluent countries are able to support people worldwide due to their financial prosperity. Hence, it is essential to provide social and economic aids to the victims for sake of mankind.
Further emphasizing on my point of view, the approach towards helping others is defined by the attitudes towards humanity instead of taking own conditions into consideration. To demonstrate, people of every nation can contribute social, economic or food help to the victims if they give more priority to humanity instead of self-centred approach. All of above, countries must promote to be the helping hand of each other for the safety, progress and wealth of their people during the critical times. By contrast, opposite wind is also there.
Others claim that the number of problems is exceeding in every nation . Thus, every administration is not in a position to help other people and therefore they are busy to pay attention to the problems of native people. Furthermore, the policy of helping every needy person in the world could lead to social, economic and financial burden.
To encapsulate, it is universally acknowledged that 'it is had to please everyone'. However, taking care of every civilisation ought to be the motto of every government to evolve harmony, tranquility and true humanity.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.4 21.0
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1752 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.034 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.771 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.591 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.026 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Hello sir, what should i do
Hello sir, what should i do to correct average sentence length ? And could you give me any other valuable advice to boost my score to 8.0 bands ? Tell me some ways
You like to put transition
You like to put transition phrases in front of all sentences which are not necessary, and they made the essay not smoothly. look:
There are multifarious points to shore up my view.
First and foremost, assistance given to other nations bridges the gap among countries.
To be specific, many prosperous countries assisted Japan's people who became the victim of tsunami.
More significantly, thriving and under developed nations also made a sizeable contribution to prevent the down trodden people.
As a result, it develops the sense of fraternity among nations which is imperative for the peace of whole world.
What is more, affluent countries are able to support people worldwide due to their financial prosperity.
Hence, it is essential to provide social and economic aids to the victims for sake of mankind.
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Try to remove those short phrases and try it out.
you mean i should remove
you mean i should remove phrases such as First and foremost,
To be specific,
More significantly,
As a result,
What is more,
No, you don't remove all of
No, you don't remove all of them. You can use some of them for sure. Not for every sentence.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 316, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...f masses in their home countries. Here, i would like to discord with the given st...
^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...to the victims for sake of mankind. Further emphasizing on my point of view, the ap...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 337, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rity to humanity instead of self-centred approach. All of above, countries must ...
^^
Line 7, column 362, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of self-centred approach. All of above, countries must promote to be the helping...
^^
Line 9, column 70, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of problems is exceeding in every nation . Thus, every administration is not in a...
^^
Line 9, column 71, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...f problems is exceeding in every nation . Thus, every administration is not in a ...
^^
Line 11, column 218, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...harmony, tranquility and true humanity.
^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'as a result', 'what is more']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.233933161954 0.247107183377 95% => OK
Verbs: 0.169665809769 0.155533422707 109% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0976863753213 0.0946595960268 103% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0462724935733 0.0501214627716 92% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0308483290488 0.0437548338989 71% => OK
Prepositions: 0.113110539846 0.122226691241 93% => OK
Participles: 0.0488431876607 0.0403226058552 121% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.88095738181 2.80594681477 103% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0616966580977 0.0326793684256 189% => Less infinitives wanted.
Particles: 0.0025706940874 0.00163938923432 157% => OK
Determiners: 0.0874035989717 0.0861772015684 101% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0154241645244 0.021408717616 72% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00771208226221 0.011925033212 65% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2167.0 1933.35771543 112% => OK
No of words: 349.0 316.048096192 110% => OK
Chars per words: 6.20916905444 6.12580529183 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32221490584 4.20517956788 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.404011461318 0.374742101984 108% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.303724928367 0.28420135186 107% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.206303724928 0.203846283523 101% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.134670487106 0.137316102897 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88095738181 2.80594681477 103% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 176.037074148 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575931232092 0.56093040696 103% => OK
Word variations: 65.0146566225 60.7387585426 107% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0891783567 124% => OK
Sentence length: 17.45 20.7743622355 84% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.5165930683 49.517814964 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.35 127.492653851 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.45 20.7743622355 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.6 0.814263465372 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38877755511 114% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 3.99599198397 175% => OK
Readability: 47.8224928367 49.1944974215 97% => OK
Elegance: 1.60416666667 1.69124875643 95% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.399242650002 0.332605444948 120% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0690697043125 0.102741220458 67% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0549125487244 0.0668466124924 82% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.534792510555 0.534860350844 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.140995911583 0.148594505496 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.152686360071 0.134430193775 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.060662618003 0.0742795772207 82% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.430818715483 0.324371583561 133% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0409032198231 0.0638462369009 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.273088879653 0.228012699653 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.015858161814 0.058150111329 27% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.68436873747 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.41683366733 117% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 5.90881763527 152% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 2.5751503006 155% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 1.9629258517 153% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 10.4468937876 153% => OK
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.