Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people choose as their hobby. What are the reasons for this? Is this is a positive or negative development?
Shopping is an unavoidable worrying necessity for many people, whilst for some others it is an opportunity to show their effluence. So many people even consider shopping as an activity to pass time. Though there are various reasons for this attitude, I strongly believe that, this is a negative trend and it will pave way to insurmountable issues.
Presently, shopping became a leisure time activity for many people especially young. They usually go for shopping when they feel boring or free, which they can use wisely for different activities like participating in sports and games. These people often do window shopping which may leads to unnecessary rush in the shops and employees of the shops also are also supposed to spent their time and energy for them. Thus, they are not only wasting the time and energy of themselves, but also others. Dangerously, the interests in outdoor games trim down.
Apparently, today’s younger generation are getting more pocket money so that they can afford costly items. Those things, which are optional before became a necessity now. For instance, mobile phones for young children gaining ground presently. Besides, people are interested to follow the latest fashion trends. The luxuries life style of youngsters may lead to undesirable social impacts. To meet money for a costive item, they may indulge in anti social activities such as drug transactions, black marketing and so on. This produces a number of criminals in the society, which may become fetal to the peace and prosperity of the society.
Furthermore, the latest fashion of clothes and accessories, and its display in the shops itself is a fest to eyes sometimes. This attracts people to spend their time in the supermarkets instead of watching boring programs in the T.V or continuing a monotonous work. The easy system of availability of loans and credit cards shoot up the rate of spending money in shopping especially for unnecessary things. The difficulty of pay back with interest to the bank creates insurmountable issues in their personal, family and social lives.
To conclude, turning shopping as a leisure activity may results in drastic problems in the personal and social lives and valuable habits like sports may vanish. Therefore, I consider it as a negative trend.
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Tessy
Sentence: These people often do window shopping which may leads to unnecessary rush in the shops and employees of the shops also are also supposed to spent their time and energy for them.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to may and leads
Sentence: To conclude, turning shopping as a leisure activity may results in drastic problems in the personal and social lives and valuable habits like sports may vanish.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to may and results
Sentence: Shopping is an unavoidable worrying necessity for many people, whilst for some others it is an opportunity to show their effluence.
Error: whilst Suggestion: while
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Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Excellent Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Sentence Length SD: 6.856 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.269 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
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