TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

In an intensive information era with a high proliferation of mass media and widespread of the Internet, it is not uncommon to find young people tend to cite several celebrities' words first as a support before they express their own views these days, while such scenarios are rarely observed in the adults. Accordingly, there is a rising belief that celebrities’ opinions impose more impact on the young people than on the adults, with which I will agree and take this view on account of the following reasons.

Firstly on the psychological groundings, compared to the mature adults who have usually fully developed their mindset and received long-time education, the young people are still in their formative years, which is a period especially vulnerable to all sorts of opinions. As a result of this immaturity, they tend to seek seemingly more impressive and compelling words to believe or just to persuade themselves. Usually, this kind of convincing words come from parents and teachers, however, many young people are also experiencing rebellious periods, leading to their resistance to every single word from their parents or teachers. Consequently, the glaze and glamour in those successful celebrities, such as household singer like Adele , honorable sportsman like Liu Xiang and bestselling writer JK Rowling , all of them will definitely deeply impress the young people who have just start dreaming their future, in particular to those who want to pursue and fulfill some dreams in related fields.The young people have to seek some models to learn from and some inspiration to motive them move forward. As a result, it makes sense the success observed in those celebrities may serve as persuasive evidence for them to firmly believe what the celebrities say. But this won't function in adult, as the adults are already keeping steadily in their own way and could depend on their own knowledge and skills.

The second factor to take into account is the media development has made us surrounded by celebrities. Compared to the limited social contact decades ago, nowadays young people are living in an information explosion era, making the celebrities more accessible. Considering the easy availability of wifi and smartphones, with the help of which the young people now can keep track with their fascinating celebrities whenever and wherever just by pressing the "follow" icon in the twitter and keeping in touch with the Internet. In addition, nowadays television programs are saturated with celebrities to attract audiences as well as commercial advertisements are employing celebrities to advocate their products. Therefore, consciously or unconsciously , the young people are now living in a world largely exposed to celebrities. Because they are so immature as illustrated above, it is not strange to admit the fact that the more time they are exposed to celebrities, the more chances they will let their own ideas flow with the impressive celebrities. On the other hand, older people who have been occupied by mundane chores like work and family and who have enjoyed happiness and sorrow in life would have less interest in those time-wasting things.

Everything existing has its influence on other things indiscriminately, although varies from the different objective characteristic, I must admit celebrities opinions also have affected the older one, adults frenzy of politician and deeply believe in those famous politician promises is just an example to name. However, given the factors explained above, I still believe the young people are more likely to subject themselves to celebrities’ opinions.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In an intensive information era with a h...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n account of the following reasons. Firstly on the psychological groundings,...
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Line 3, column 742, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ies, such as household singer like Adele , honorable sportsman like Liu Xiang and ...
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Line 3, column 813, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... Xiang and bestselling writer JK Rowling , all of them will definitely deeply impr...
^^
Line 3, column 1003, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...d fulfill some dreams in related fields.The young people have to seek some models t...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... on their own knowledge and skills. The second factor to take into account i...
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Line 5, column 766, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... Therefore, consciously or unconsciously , the young people are now living in a wo...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...erest in those time-wasting things. Everything existing has its influence on...
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Discourse Markers used:
['accordingly', 'also', 'but', 'consequently', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'second', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'well', 'while', 'in addition', 'in particular', 'kind of', 'such as', 'as a result', 'as well as', 'on the other hand']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.232704402516 0.229887763892 101% => OK
Verbs: 0.158805031447 0.158761421928 100% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0990566037736 0.0866891130778 114% => OK
Adverbs: 0.064465408805 0.046263068375 139% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0455974842767 0.0685040099705 67% => OK
Prepositions: 0.110062893082 0.118717715034 93% => OK
Participles: 0.0455974842767 0.0351676179071 130% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.0142111196 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0393081761006 0.0309702414327 127% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0927672955975 0.0887237588012 105% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0125786163522 0.0209618222197 60% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0157232704403 0.0139019557991 113% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3668.0 2387.08602151 154% => OK
No of words: 577.0 408.028673835 141% => OK
Chars per words: 6.35701906412 5.86048508987 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90110439584 4.48200974243 109% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.386481802426 0.338922669872 114% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.296360485269 0.251872472559 118% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.216637781629 0.174417080927 124% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.159445407279 0.112833075102 141% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0142111196 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 303.0 212.727598566 142% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525129982669 0.524397521467 100% => OK
Word variations: 65.884461235 59.2087087015 111% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6684587814 82% => OK
Sentence length: 33.9411764706 20.5533526081 165% => OK
Sentence length SD: 89.4982940434 48.84282405 183% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 215.764705882 120.699889404 179% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.9411764706 20.5533526081 165% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.29411764706 0.644075263715 201% => Less Discourse Markers wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.54480286738 144% => OK
Readability: 63.5772249975 45.7405998639 139% => OK
Elegance: 1.44444444444 1.45489161554 99% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.444767833623 0.300154397459 148% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.111058489553 0.103427244359 107% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0507733927935 0.0752933317313 67% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.562035174442 0.497263757937 113% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.132104980889 0.151897553556 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.202954721464 0.114077575197 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.052814034293 0.0781384742642 68% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.477681540771 0.336927656856 142% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0567524911341 0.067059652881 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.335075607962 0.210909579961 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0437454567246 0.0618886996521 71% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8870967742 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.86379928315 52% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 12.0 8.42114695341 142% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.4623655914 81% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 13.6433691756 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Less content wanted. Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

The second factor to take into account is the media development has made us
The second factor to take into account is that the media development has made us

flaws:
No. of Words: 576 350

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 576 350
No. of Characters: 2989 1500
No. of Different Words: 295 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.899 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.189 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 219 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 163 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.882 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.487 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.882 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5