Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your living environment does.
In my opinion, I agree that my job has more effect on my happiness than the living environment does. The reasons are those my work consumes a lot of my time, it is less flexible at work than at home, and job has more influence to me.
First , my job consumes most of my time. For example, before I came to study in America, I had been working ten to twelve hours a day, six days a week, for five years. That means I had less than ten hours at home. Also, sleeping seven to eight hours a day was a must thing for me because I was very exhausted. So, any bad living environment, such as noise, could not interfere me because I was very tired and I did not have time to complain about it. Consequently I ignored and slept through it.
Second, it is less flexible at work than at home. If it’s noise at my apartment, I could go out to do other activities and the problem is relived for a moment. Moreover, I could even move out to find a new apartment to live if the problem is too severe. In contrast, if there is any problem at work, I need to face it and solve it there, at my work. Furthermore, quitting the current job and finding another job is not easy and there is no guarantee that I will be hired.
Finally, job has a more influence to me. Having a career in medical field was my goal when I was young. Then, I studied very hard in the university, graduated and worked in hospital. Achieving the goal that I set makes me happy and proud of myself. Moreover, I did not earn a modest salary, but over median salary that a bachelor degree should earn. My job pays the bills, the rent, and it also can improve and solve the living problem that may occur.
In conclusion, because my job is a thing that takes most of my time, thing that is likely to be a permanent, and thing that affects my life, so it effects my happiness than the living environment does.
- TOEFL integrated writing Endotherms 95
- Would you choose a large university or a small university? 90
- School should require young children (7-11) to work as group or alone? 90
- past people are friendly than they are today. 78
- Do you agree or disagree with the statement that people should read or watch news presented by people whose views are different from your own? 80
Comments
Hi, Thank you for all
Hi,
Thank you for all feedbacks since in the morning today.
I regret that i should have found your website earlier because tomorrow is my test day :(
I think I need to come back for more practicing for the next test, March.
Happy Valentine's Day :)
Good luck for tomorrow's
Good luck for tomorrow's test. Let us know your good news.
Sentence: The reasons are those my work consumes a lot of my time, it is less flexible at work than at home, and job has more influence to me.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, plural is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to those and my
flaws:
Try to remove repetitive words. for example: my work consumes a lot of my time...,my job consumes most of my time...my job is a thing that takes most of my time...
And you don't need to list all reasons in the first paragraph. Just say something like "...The reasons go as follows."
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1444 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.26 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 77 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.8 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5