What famous place would you like to visit? Use details and reasons to support your responses.

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What famous place would you like to visit? Use details and reasons to support your responses.

There are a lot of wonderful places I wish to visit. However, most of all I would like to visit Hollywood and I have a great deal of reasons to do: it to see how the films are made, meet famous actors and actresses and just have a good time.

First, Hollywood is famous for making films there. For example, I like films and spend a great amount of my free time watching new and also old films, especially made in Hollywood. And when the film attracts me I wish to know how the director managed to made such wonderful and awesome films, what technologies he used, and how the actors made dangerous tricks. It seems to me that the Hollywood is the best place to satisfy my interests in making films.

Also, almost all famous American actors and actresses have houses in Hollywood. Therefore if I visit this place I will probably have an opportunity to meet them take autographs and even have a talk with them asking them about their feelings during the film and after watching themselves in already-made films.Thus, visiting Los-Angeles I will have numerous opportunities of meeting famous figures in cinema industry.

Moreover, Los-Angeles, where Hollywood is situated is one of the beautiful places in the world. It has a lot of beaches and as it is always hot there, you can spend your time swimming and sunbathing. There are also numerous parties organized every day, where you can have a drink and enjoy your time in the city of angels. Therefore besides watching films I will have a great opportunity to get away from my everyday life and enjoy my time by dancing and swimming.

When all is said and done, I reason that the place I most like to visit is Hollywood. I do understand that there are a lot of interesting places I would like to visit too. However, I come to conclusion that Hollywood is the best place for me to understand something I wish most of all.

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2011-09-12 Davosh 81 view
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You can get 5.0 - 5.5 out of 6.o for this TOEFL essay. Good structure and language,reasons. Few gram mistakes only.

Thank you... I have a problem, i cannot estimate my essay, and also, that 0.5 is a lack of few grammar mistakes, or something else? I would like to imporve myself to the best mark, in order to get something about 5

Other than gram mistakes, you still need to improve your writing skills. for example "I reason that the place I most like to visit is Hollywood. I do understand that there are a lot of interesting places I would like to visit too. However, I come ...". Look at those sentences, all of them use the same subject 'I'. there should be some sentence varieties.