statement
My interest in architecture has been shaped based on our home’s atmosphere; since the majority of my family members engage in the construction and design. Therefore, I unconsciously gained some background about the construction and design. My real and knowingly interest toward the architecture had been shaped during my secondary school duration which was aligned with my sister’s university education period (Architectural Engineering). My knowledge about the geometry and architectural design become my favorite field. Moreover, since I had the chance of working with my sister and assisting her with her academic assignments, I gained a deep insight into this field and broaden my horizon before my university attendance. This background made a turning point in my life and I made my mind to become an architect.
I entered Architectural Engineering Department at the University of Islamic Azad University, Tabriz branch for following the bachelor program. During my undergraduate training (B.S. of Architectural Engineering), I have been fortune enough to work with professors, who give importance to the design without limitation; therefore, I flourished my ideas about the architectural designs. During the first year I concentrated to the model and sketch up to depict my idea; however, through the later semesters, I got assist from the soft wares such as the Auto CAD, 3Ds Max, and Rhino to expand my idea as possible as I could. Hopefully, since the program of architectural engineering focuses on the holistic perspective, I gained a comprehensive outlook and I managed to try many different areas at the university. Immediately, after my graduation from the university, I attended to the Architectural Department at the university of Islamic Azad University, Science and Research branch for following the master program. Unlike my bachelor program which was based on the pragmatic experiences, in this program, I had this chance to get aware of the theoretic site of this field, I studied the various design theories and gained viewpoint about the philosophic and scientific side of this field such as the climatic design, green architecture and sustainability. Based upon the academic assignment in this period, I become interested in the sustainable and climatic design. I prepared various articles about these subjects and presented them in the different conferences and gained the honors for my presentations. Besides these fields, I did a research plan about the philosophy. Although the subject of this research plan does not match with my interest, it was a decent experience which informed me about the processes of presenting a research plan. Unfortunately, as mentioned above my activity during my master degree was mostly concentrated on the holistic theory rather than the practical aspect. However, I preferred to address my time and energy mostly to extending my domain of knowledge over the sustainable design in practical as M.Arch student and fill this gap a bit. Accordingly, my master thesis entitled green residential complex based upon the green architecture principles, which was based on research and design, gained 20 out of 20 in both fields. And now I am sure with my enthusiasm and my creativity and hardworking I will succeed if I gain the well-organized education in this area.
After my graduation from the university, I had this chance to extend my experiments in two paths of teaching and designing. Actually, I have the teaching experiences from my university duration, since I managed to hold some teacher assistantship positions (Architectural Design, Environmental Condition Control), which were completely invaluable for me due to the interaction with intelligent eager students and the teaching methods I tried to get familiar with. Consequently, Now, I have this ability to convey
data so fluently and comprehensively in my classes in Islamic Azad University, Hashtrood Branch. In addition, by working as a technical staff at Algan Company (Turkish Construction Company in Tabriz), I acquired vital knowledge about the execution; it gave a sufficient adherence to my individual designing in the small scale too.
As mentioned above, the academic program presented in my country is limited and theoretical and does not provide the sufficient data and background in my desired area; therefore, I aim to pursue the master of architecture once more to enrich my background with the more comprehensive and flourished context.
I think my desire for research and design and my educational background has provided me with the base needed to pursue a productive M.Arch program. As it is a most important level of education, I seek to pursue it in a resourceful university which can address my concerns and match my educational goals. For this reason, I studied many different schools and come to believe that the program provided by Washington University in St. Louis- Sam Fox School provides me an outstanding experience in the field. Reading curriculum of the Sam Fox School informs me that the program focuses on the sustainability and housing; besides, there is a list of elective courses which are to fulfill the student’s desired goal. Thus, by program provided, I will have this chance to guide my interest and knowledge to my desired stand. As I long to give attention to academic task, execution, and social relationship and responsibilities, I think that I can enjoy a lot from the academic atmosphere there. I hope that by joining Washington University in St. Louis- Sam Fox School, I will be prepared to contribute to a better understanding of the scientific ideas of sustainability, which will assure my career fruitfulness and my responsibility accomplishment as a sustainable designer. Especially, since there is a basic need for this field.
Sincerely
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flaws:
1. Don't repeat words or phrases, like: 'I gained...'
2. Don't always use 'I' as the subject of a sentence.
3. Some paragraphs are too long, like the second paragraph.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 35 15
No. of Words: 923 350
No. of Characters: 4784 1500
No. of Different Words: 391 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.512 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.183 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.174 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 370 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 287 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 218 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 162 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.371 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.285 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.514 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5