TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

Every parents try to equip their children with the best education and qualities that enable them to be successful individuals in the future. In my opinion, young should learn how to manage their money at early age. I feel this for two main reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, those who learn how to spend their money effectively are likely to be more reliable persons. When an adult his or her parents exert a lot of efforts to fulfill the needs of the family. In addition, those kids will realize that there is nothing in this life can be taken for granted. The more you fight on all aspects of life, the higher lucrative job and comfortable life you will get. My personal experience is a completing example of this. My father has taught me that I should be polite and study well to deserve money. Moreover, he always advised me to spend my money in a wise way and I should pace myself on certain amount of money every week, and should not ask for more, unless I have a good justification. I was reluctant at the beginning, but my parents convinced me that they were doing what is best for me. After all these years, I now find that they were totally right in their attitude because I learnt since that time to efficiently spent my income.
Furthermore, educating our children how to manage their money will save them any possible shortage of money. In this rapidly changing life, no one can predict what will happen in the future, so it is very discreet behavior to save some of your income for any future emergency. For instance, my close friend suddenly was ill and needed an urgent surgery, but unluckily he did not own the full required sum. As they always said " a penny saved is a penny gained". I was saving a good amount of money because I used to do this since my childhood. Therefore, I gave the needed fees for the hospital and my friend did the surgery and he is enjoying his good health now. I was to feel that my parents advice works right and save me in hard times.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that we should teach our kids how to manage their money. This is because they make them more responsible and it will save them money for the hard times.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: EACH_EVERY_NNS[1]
Message: 'Each' and 'every' are used with singular. Did you mean 'all'?
Suggestion: All
Every parents try to equip their children wit...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 121, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be more reliable persons. When an adult his or her parents exert a lot of effort...
^^
Line 2, column 123, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'hi'?
Suggestion: hi
...e more reliable persons. When an adult his or her parents exert a lot of efforts t...
^^^
Line 2, column 588, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a wise way" with adverb for "wise"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... he always advised me to spend my money in a wise way and I should pace myself on certain amo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, moreover, so, therefore, well, after all, as to, for instance, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 74.0 43.0788530466 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1809.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 408.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.43382352941 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38013165023 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.524509803922 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 582.3 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.3828204083 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.1428571429 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4285714286 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.09523809524 5.45110844103 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172481991897 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0572461613982 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0574754665109 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12760645836 0.150856017488 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0514990833039 0.0645574589148 80% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 11.7677419355 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.41 10.9000537634 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.