TPO 10-Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.
There is no doubt that new technologies play significant roles in our life. This often brings up a controversial question: how they influence people's lives? Do they have negative or positive effects? In this regard, some people are inclined toward the opinion that computer games are useful for children whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective. From my vantage point, it will be extremely profitable if we encourage our children to play computer games less frequently since it influences negatively their studies, physical health and mental health. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my perspective.
One of the reasons that immediately comes to mind is that playing computer games for long hours leads to sedentary life style which is the important cause of serious illnesses such as obesity, poor eyesight and muscular problems like backache. Related statistics show that students who waste their time on computer games are unhealthier than ones who spend their times on doing exercise instead of sitting in front of computer and playing games for long hours. In fact, for playing these games children sit in front of computer's monitor and they blink slowly/rarely. This acts lead to obesity and poor vision which affect negatively their studies. But if they do exercise or play real/practical/active games, for example playing football with their friends, they will be energetic and healthy which leads to productive studying in school.
Another equally significant reason is that these games afflict children mental health in terrible way. This means that these games expose children’s thoughts into violence. Take war games for instance. These games increase aggressive manners in the children which disturb their social activities such as group studies in school, teamwork activities in outdoor games and so on. Children's aggressive behavior make them unavailable to interact with their social problems because not only they don't try to solve their problems in a logical way but also they solve their social problems/issues by force. That is to say, they imitate the games' violent characters and use their methods to face their difficulties. Children, specially in young age, are prone to emulate adults behaviors so if they spend their time on those games, they will follow games’ characters’ manners/manners of games’ characters instead of their parents’ behavior. Children's problems in social activities leave them secluded which sensitize/subject them to be depressed.
To wrap it up, I deeply believe that computer games effects our children harmfully. Sedentary lifestyle and unsociable personality lead them to serious problem. They couldn't do exercise, play outdoor games and encounter with difficulties because of those fruitless games. So parents should encourage their children to engage in proper activities and teach them to spend their time on study, research and sports.
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- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 10 80
- TPO 10-Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. 81
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 11 80
- TPO 12 - Integrated 81
- TPO 11 - Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
There is no doubt that new technologies ...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... I will elaborate on my perspective. One of the reasons that immediately come...
^^^
Line 3, column 563, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[3]
Message: The adverb 'rarely' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
...computers monitor and they blink slowly/rarely. This acts lead to obesity and poor vis...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ds to productive studying in school. Another equally significant reason is th...
^^^
Line 5, column 499, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...r social problems because not only they dont try to solve their problems in a logica...
^^^^
Line 5, column 532, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a logical way" with adverb for "logical"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...y they dont try to solve their problems in a logical way but also they solve their social proble...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sitize/subject them to be depressed. To wrap it up, I deeply believe that com...
^^
Line 7, column 169, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...lity lead them to serious problem. They couldnt do exercise, play outdoor games and enc...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, whereas, for example, for instance, in fact, no doubt, such as, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2508.0 1977.66487455 127% => OK
No of words: 453.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.53642384106 4.8611393121 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95186660669 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.545253863135 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 755.1 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.1481331511 48.9658058833 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.043478261 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6956521739 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.21739130435 5.45110844103 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 3.85842293907 415% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.307494117957 0.236089414692 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.09419730819 0.076458572812 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0665052573519 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.211494675065 0.150856017488 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.05247369894 0.0645574589148 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 11.7677419355 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 58.1214874552 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.85 10.9000537634 136% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 86.8835125448 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.