The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The chart shows that low income groups spent the least money to consume all kind of fast foods, Fish and Chips (18 pence) as their most popular foods to consume followed by Pizza (8 pence) and Hamburger (14 pence). Although the average income group mostly consumed Hamburgers (33 pence per week), followed by Fish Chips and Pizza (25 pence and 13 pence respectively), the high income group ranked the first group who consume more on fast foods, Hamburgers (43 pence) doubled than Pizza and Hamburger (20 and 18 pence each).
From the graph, it is showed that in 1970, people consumed Fish and Chips (300 grammes) often than Hamburger and Pizza. It is significantly increased over 20 years period where in 1990, people consumed Hamburger over 500 grammes followed by Pizza 300 grammes and Fish and Chips (280 grammes). For Fish and Chips consuming, it is slightly decrease over 20 years period.
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Comments
two times i got 5, now it's
two times i got 5, now it's significantly decrease...
Sentence: Although the average income group mostly consumed Hamburgers 33 pence per week, followed by Fish Chips and Pizza 25 pence and 13 pence respectively, the high income group ranked the first group who consume more on fast foods, Hamburgers 43 pence doubled than Pizza and Hamburger 20 and 18 pence each.
Description: The fragment who consume more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace consume with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Words: 152 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.381 7.5
Number of Paragraphs: 2 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 5 10
No. of Words: 152 200
No. of Characters: 710 1000
No. of Different Words: 81 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.671 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.224 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 40 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 29 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 19 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 10 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.381 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.606 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.784 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.351 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 4