31/10/2017
You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one.
Write a letter to a friend. In your letter
• explain why you want to leave your current job
• what kind of job you are looking for
• ask for some help or advice
Dear John,
I am writing to ask you for some advice.
As you know, a decision has recently been made to leave this working place and to begin looking for another one. The main reason that motivates me is an unhealthy atmosphere at work that is created by new managers who were hired a couple of years ago. In addition, my current employer faced some financial difficulty and he has failed to invest money in purchasing new workstations and other equipment. So, if I continue working here, I am going to have a nervous breakdown.
Anyway, a novel workplace must have several pivotal characteristics. Firstly, the job should be connected with my education. So, I am looking for a position of a programmer or a software engineer. Hopefully, ten years of experience will help me to find a decent place. Secondly, an office of a new employer must be situated in my megalopolis or there ought to be a possibility to work distantly from home because my young daughter has some health conditions that do not allow my family to change the place easily.
Finally, you have recently changed your employer and it appears the new place is awesome. May you suggest me the best way to find a new job? What sources of information did you use? And also I hope you can ask your manager whether there is another open job position in your company, I would be glad to work in your firm.
I am waiting for your prompt response.
Sincerely yours.
Eugene Dubinchuk
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
a decision has recently been made to leave this working place and to begin looking for another one.
Description: a decision to begin looking for another one? the subject should be people, better to use active voice instead of passive voice in task I, like:
I have made a decision recently to leave the working place and begun looking for a new job.
which is more clear.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 257 250
No. of Characters: 1150 1200
No. of Different Words: 157 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.004 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.475 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.632 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 79 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.487 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.282 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.599 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
ok. I tried to use passive to
ok. I tried to use passive to avoid using "I" as a subject.
what should i improve to
what should i improve to score higher?
1) avoid using passive
2) not overuse "I" as a subject.
3) ?
thank you.
Well, there are no obvious
Well, there are no obvious mistakes, but related to writing style. for example, this sentence:
The main reason that motivates me is an unhealthy atmosphere at work that is created by new managers who were hired a couple of years ago.
nothing wrong with the sentence, but actually it is hard to read, we may make it simpler, like:
'The main reason for my leave is an unhealthy atmosphere at work.'
'that is created by new managers who were hired a couple of years ago.' is really not necessary here.
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you may read some articles from VOA learning English which helps to develop polished sentences:
https://www.testbig.com/reading_and_listening
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 11, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Dear John, I am writing to ask you for some advice....
^^^^^
Line 7, column 238, Rule ID: HELP_TO_FIND[1]
Message: This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write 'help me find' instead.
Suggestion: help me find
...Hopefully, ten years of experience will help me to find a decent place. Secondly, an office of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, anyway, finally, first, firstly, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, in addition, you know
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 7.48453608247 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 4.92783505155 162% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 5.05154639175 139% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.03092783505 132% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 32.9175257732 100% => OK
Preposition: 25.0 26.3917525773 95% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 3.85567010309 182% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1206.0 937.175257732 129% => OK
No of words: 257.0 206.0 125% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69260700389 4.54256449028 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.00390054096 3.78020617076 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71646611952 2.54303337028 107% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 127.690721649 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.607003891051 0.622605031667 97% => OK
syllable_count: 385.2 290.88556701 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.41237113402 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.13402061856 77% => OK
Article: 5.0 0.824742268041 606% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 1.44329896907 69% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 12.6804123711 118% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 16.3608247423 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.0964937318 44.8134815571 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.4 76.5299724578 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.1333333333 16.8248392259 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.46666666667 4.34317383033 149% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 2.54639175258 79% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 7.41237113402 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 1.49484536082 268% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.94845360825 127% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.31559818666 0.216113520407 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0900973105113 0.0766984524023 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0754605331624 0.0603063233224 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.185232419208 0.12726935374 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.06896474072 0.0580467560999 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 8.37731958763 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 70.7449484536 89% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 7.45979381443 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.63 8.71597938144 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 7.59969072165 110% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 41.2886597938 153% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 8.62886597938 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 8.54432989691 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 8.15463917526 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.