The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The Board of Directors of Monarch Books has proposed to open a café on behalf of the store’s business expansion. Although the intention is good, a few aspects need to be thoroughly examined before the proposal can be adopted because it is based on a few insufficient assumptions.
First, the board members believe that the café will drawn more customers to the store. However, this belief is established on the assumption that current and potential customers prefer to and enjoy a café, which is not proven. Some customers may be merely interested in the book selection and could not care less about the café, in which case, the opening of a café will not affect these customers that much. In order to find out the market’s preferences, a survey on these current and potential customers need to be conducted.
In order to open a café, the bookstore is planning to shut down the children’s book section because of a decrease in the population of ten years or younger. In this suggestions, they have made two assumptions that need to be further questioned. First, they have assumed that shutting the children’s book section will not affect current customers, which I believe is unrealistic. How will closing the children’s book section affect current customers? Is there a large proportion of books sold under children’s book category? If the children’s books sales take up a significant amount of their total sales, it will be unwise to stop selling children’s books. Besides, they are assuming that the decrease will lead to a declining popularity of children’s book. However, children don’t buy books on their own, and parents always buy books for them. Therefore, even though there may be less children under ten, parents may continue purchase many children’s books. What’s more, what about books targeting children above ten? The board really need to ask questions that can help them find answers the support the closing of the children’s book section.
In addition, they have claimed that opening a café will make them more competitive against Regal Books. This claim assumes that, except for running a café, Regal and Monarch are exactly in the same in terms of customer reviews, service, environment, book selection, and other aspects. However, to support this argument, the bookstore needs to find out whether there is space to improve in other areas in their business. Also, they need to find out what they can do to make their café better than Regal’s café so that it can truly outperform Regal Book’s.
Given the discussion above, a series questions that can reflect customers’ preferences on café, that can display children’s book contributions in sales, and that can indicate other areas to improve will help the board to understand more about the influence of opening a café and make a better decision on this recommendation.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK, but more: for the national census, it may not work for some cities.
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 474 350
No. of Characters: 2307 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.666 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.867 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.545 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.119 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 40, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The Board of Directors of Monarch Books has proposed to open a café on behalf of...
^^
Line 3, column 53, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[3]
Message: Did you mean 'draw' or 'be drawn'?
Suggestion: draw; be drawn
...oard members believe that the café will drawn more customers to the store. However, t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 163, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...the population of ten years or younger. In this suggestions, they have made two as...
^^
Line 5, column 166, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... population of ten years or younger. In this suggestions, they have made two assumpt...
^^^^
Line 5, column 399, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'close'
Suggestion: close
...hich I believe is unrealistic. How will closing the children's book section affect...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 922, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun children is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...em. Therefore, even though there may be less children under ten, parents may continu...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, however, if, may, really, so, therefore, as to, except for, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2477.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 473.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23678646934 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06839554899 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45665961945 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 732.6 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.5799067385 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.590909091 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45454545455 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254022737779 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0932089909288 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0722136732412 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158049646324 0.128457276422 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0327279839036 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.