I agree with the statement that students should take part-time jobs while they are studying in the university. Money is indispensable and inevitable factor for a university student to meet the skyrocketing tuition fees and their day to day requirements. Another unavoidable fact is that by the time a student reach at the university level they need independence in certain aspects of their life, which comes from the financial source.
First and foremost, now a days the expenses for studying in any university in USA is really unreachable.Those who are dreaming to pursue their career in a very demanded professional field, it is beyond anyone's capacity. For instance, if a student wants to become a doctor or simply pursue his career as a psychologist, he has to be sure that money should not be a constraint for the payment of his tuition fees to continue his study . Although many scholarship programs are there to help students, yet they are insufficient to meet all of their financial needs. However, now a days student loans are easily available to turn their dream into reality. But it is not advisable for any student to go for a loan, if they have already some family responsibilities on their shoulder. Else they may drown in the debt, which can be more frustrating for them later on.
Furthermore, independence is a major factor during the university life, which is a much awaited moment for any young adult. Hence, to enjoy their independence, they need to earn for their requirements. Even though, they can choose to stay with their family, financial autonomy can provide them with all those amenities to enjoy with their friends along with their qualification. Some might say, it may hamper their assignments and they can be diverted from their goals. But I believe not in everyone's case. Rather the part-time jobs give the students some experiences from real life situations, which help them to grow maturely and finish their assignment responsibly.
Therefore, for my propensity part-time job is a requirement rather than an option for the students while studying in a university. Not only it helps them to fulfill their dreams to turn into reality, accomplish their study without any monetary hurdles, but also they can enjoy their independence and meet day to day necessities easily.
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Another unavoidable fact is that by the time a student reach at the university level they ..
Suggestion: Another unavoidable fact is that by the time a student reaches at the university level they ...
Not only it helps them to fulfill their dreams to turn into reality, accomplish their study without any monetary hurdles, but also they can enjoy their independence and meet day to day necessities easily.
Description: not only ... but also ... is not used properly
flaws:
Be sensitive to use 'On the other hand', 'However','Nonetheless' in the essays.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 384 350
No. of Characters: 1880 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.427 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.896 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.808 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.745 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.487 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5