According to a recent report by our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the last year. Clearly, the content of these reviews is not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not in the quality of our movies but with public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater quantity of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.
It may be possible that greater awareness about the movie will increase the number of viewers of the movie but author suggestion in reaching this conclusion is rife with assumptions making the conclusion not clear.
The author assumed that fewer people attended super screen produced movie is because of the quality of the movie which might not be true as there might be other reason. For instance, it is possbile that the weather in the region where the movie is screened is not feasible for the people to come out of there home.Also it may be possible that people might went on vacation which will also lead for fewer people to attend the movie.
Moreover, author has assumed that the rating of given by the people if is the suffiecent evidence that the movie quality is better which might not be true. For instance, the person who whould have given a bad review earlier would not have came to see the movie or the people who have not seen the movie before would have reviewed the movie in any of this case the rating of the movie has increased. Also, it is not clear which movie the reviewer has rated. As author assumed that the if reviewer has given good rating for one of the movie produced by the the Super screen hold true for any other movie produced by them.
Further, author has assumed that people increase in awareness about the movie will increase the number of people watching the movie which also might not be possible. For instance, if the people aware of a movie through advertisement bu didn't like the advertisement only. In this case it is near to impossible that people will go for movie. Also, author has assumed the super screen have enough money to increase the budget allocated for public awareness. it might be possible that they has more immediate task to take care rather than increasing the budget for public awareness.
So, the above argument clearly state that increasing the budget may not be feasible in increasing the viewership of the movie.
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Sentence: For instance, it is possbile that the weather in the region where the movie is screened is not feasible for the people to come out of there home.Also it may be possible that people might went on vacation which will also lead for fewer people to attend the movie.
Error: possbile Suggestion: possible
Sentence: Moreover, author has assumed that the rating of given by the people if is the suffiecent evidence that the movie quality is better which might not be true.
Error: suffiecent Suggestion: sufficient
Sentence: For instance, the person who whould have given a bad review earlier would not have came to see the movie or the people who have not seen the movie before would have reviewed the movie in any of this case the rating of the movie has increased.
Error: whould Suggestion: would
Sentence: For instance, if the people aware of a movie through advertisement bu didn't like the advertisement only.
Error: bu Suggestion: but
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Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
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Sentence Length SD: 11.706 7.5
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Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.746 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.186 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5