“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit.”
At first glance, it may seem that allowing the Smith corporation to build a new hotel on the land which is part of Youngtown Wildlife preserve, would not be a good step towards the bird species preservation. However, by mentioning it to be disastrous seems a bit odd and by perusing the argument one can say that the author's argument is rife with assumption and loopholes.
It has been cited that Smith Corporation will build a hotel in a small percentage of area. There's no data regarding how big the sanctuary is. Probably the sanctuary is pretty big in comparison to the land that will be sold to the Smiths. In such a case this can't be guaranteed that it will be disastrous. Again, there's no evidence or information being provided that whether there are other hotels located in proximity to the sanctuary. If already there are many hotels and other establishments and still the bird sanctuary didn't face much of a quandary, then teh new hotel won't alone turn out to be pernicious. Rather than directly speculating the imminent sale of land to Smiths detrimental, environmental protection group should gather data regarding the nearby hoetels and establishments and then only come to a conclusion whether to have a hotel in a small area would be of that danger, or in the case, too little to be dangerous.
Furthermore, it has been mentioned that sanctuary caters sustenance for 300 bird species. However, there is no information regarding the how well the bird sactuary is doing. Is it still being maintained propely by peopleor not. In such a case, if no proper maintanance is there, bird sanctuary will not be a appropriate for birds to look forward to it. The bird sanctuary might itself turn out to be unbecoming to birds. going further, it has been claimed that the hotel authority have agreed to contrive few plans targeted towards bird sanctuary preservation. Without even mentioning what there plans our it shouldn't be concluded that their plans will tend to faild. Whatif the hotel people decide to invest a goood amount of share of their revenue to support the bird sanctuary. This will help in mainenance of bird sanctuary and hence will make it a better place for birds to reply on. Probably this might attract more birds to find sanctuary a good palce for shelter. hence, the current condition and the operational effectiveness of the bird 'ssanctuary should be analysed in advance, and also Smith corporation's plans should be be analysed and discussed for their merits an ddemerits before considering them as a failure.
Moreover, it has been mentioned many tourists pay a visit at the sanctuary. Its Hence, it can be asserted that if a a hotel is established in vicinity of sanctary will be again auspicious for sanctuary. A hotel will attract many tourist to paln their vacationsand spendtheir leisure time at the hotel. This can add to more number of tourists visiting the bird sanctuary and hence, will benefit the sanctuary. However, this aspect hasn't been considred before passing the petition to teh Yougtown residents.
Overall, with the aforementioned assumptions, which the author failed to include in his argument , one can conclude that the sale of land for hotel construction might actually pose as a good idea, instead of being harmful, towards the bird sanctuary, making it more effective and bringing more visitors to the sanctuary.
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bird sanctuary will not be a appropriate for birds
bird sanctuary will not be appropriate for birds
Sentence: If already there are many hotels and other establishments and still the bird sanctuary didn't face much of a quandary, then teh new hotel won't alone turn out to be pernicious.
Error: teh Suggestion: the
Sentence: Rather than directly speculating the imminent sale of land to Smiths detrimental, environmental protection group should gather data regarding the nearby hoetels and establishments and then only come to a conclusion whether to have a hotel in a small area would be of that danger, or in the case, too little to be dangerous.
Error: hoetels Suggestion: hotels
Sentence: However, there is no information regarding the how well the bird sactuary is doing.
Error: sactuary Suggestion: sanctuary
Sentence: Is it still being maintained propely by peopleor not.
Error: propely Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: peopleor Suggestion: people
Sentence: In such a case, if no proper maintanance is there, bird sanctuary will not be a appropriate for birds to look forward to it.
Error: maintanance Suggestion: maintenance
Sentence: Without even mentioning what there plans our it shouldn't be concluded that their plans will tend to faild.
Error: faild Suggestion: fail
Sentence: Whatif the hotel people decide to invest a goood amount of share of their revenue to support the bird sanctuary.
Error: goood Suggestion: good
Sentence: This will help in mainenance of bird sanctuary and hence will make it a better place for birds to reply on.
Error: mainenance Suggestion: maintenance
Sentence: Probably this might attract more birds to find sanctuary a good palce for shelter. hence, the current condition and the operational effectiveness of the bird 'ssanctuary should be analysed in advance, and also Smith corporation's plans should be be analysed and discussed for their merits an ddemerits before considering them as a failure.
Error: ddemerits Suggestion: deserts
Error: analysed Suggestion: analyzed
Error: palce Suggestion: pace
Error: ssanctuary Suggestion: sanctuary
Sentence: Its Hence, it can be asserted that if a a hotel is established in vicinity of sanctary will be again auspicious for sanctuary.
Error: sanctary Suggestion: sanitary
Sentence: A hotel will attract many tourist to paln their vacationsand spendtheir leisure time at the hotel.
Error: paln Suggestion: pal
Error: vacationsand Suggestion: vacations
Error: spendtheir Suggestion: spender
Sentence: However, this aspect hasn't been considred before passing the petition to teh Yougtown residents.
Error: teh Suggestion: the
Error: considred Suggestion: considered
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 19 2
No. of Words: 572 350
Write the essay in 30 minutes. For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 19 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 572 350
No. of Characters: 2751 1500
No. of Different Words: 263 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.89 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.809 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.764 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.025 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5