"In an effort to bring new jobs to Dillton and stimulate the city's flagging economy, Dillton's city council voted last year to lower the city's corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, the city began offering generous relocation grants to any company that would move to Dillton. Since these changes went into effect, two new factories have opened in Dillton. Although the two factories employ more than 1,000 people, the unemployment rate in Dillton remains unchanged. The only clear explanation for this is that the new factories are staffed with out-of-town workers rather than Dillton residents."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the argument, the author suggests that the unemployment rate is unchanged because new factories are not hiring people locally even with a lot of boosting economy policy. Still, it is rife with holes and alternative explanations exist.
One of the policy is reducing the company tax by 15%, but the benefit of it, however, is unknown. It would be true and promising that companies would be able to recruit more people by the additional budget due to the tax incentive and then it accordingly helps reduce the unemployment rate. On the other hand, another possibility is that, because of the details of the criteria for an enterprise to gain the tax cut should comply with the rule that the number of the company’s employers should be more than 10,000. Therefore, it is unlikely for most of business to gain the benefit. And most of companies in Dillton are not going to hire more people because of rigid policy. Thus, the author has to consider this kind of explanation in the argument to make it more cogent.
The another explanation is that because of labors relocation, relatives of the workers also move to Dillton and most of them don’t have jobs or lose their jobs. If 1 factory worker has a family of 4 on average, others 1 to 2 people, like their spouses or family members, may lose their jobs due to relocations, therefore she or he is going to find the jobs. Then the unemployment people is rising as well as the employment, so they cancel each other and the unemployment rate remained the same eventually,
Even if the companies in Dillton hire people out of the town, that would not be likely to make sure the unemployment rate would decline accordingly, Since the migrating rate is high in Dillton, it typically has 2,000 thousand people emigrating to other cities or countries per year. And most of the them have jobs before emigrating, therefore when these people leave, the number of employers in Dillton would obviously degrades by 2,000 people. Thus, even it has additional influx of 2,000 people, it would not help decreasing the unemployment rate effectively. The author needs to consider the alternative explanations mentioned above.
In conclusion, we do hope that Dillton is going to reduce the unemployment rate as the author wish, however, there are many alternative conditions that the author has to deal with to make the argument more convincing.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 1922 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.711 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.672 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.175 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.451 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 587, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the companies') or simply say ''most companies''.
Suggestion: most of the companies; most companies
...st of business to gain the benefit. And most of companies in Dillton are not going to hire more p...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 773, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in the argument to make it more cogent. The another explanation is that because ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ent rate remained the same eventually, Even if the companies in Dillton hire pe...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 307, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'them'?
Suggestion: the; them
...ties or countries per year. And most of the them have jobs before emigrating, therefore ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 431, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'degrade'
Suggestion: degrade
...of employers in Dillton would obviously degrades by 2,000 people. Thus, even it has addi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 528, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to decrease' or 'decrease'.
Suggestion: to decrease; decrease
...flux of 2,000 people, it would not help decreasing the unemployment rate effectively. The ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ernative explanations mentioned above. In conclusion, we do hope that Dillton i...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, as to, in conclusion, kind of, as well as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1977.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 407.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85749385749 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75952551618 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46683046683 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 630.0 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 92.8491249286 57.8364921388 161% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.8 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.1333333333 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.46666666667 5.70786347227 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.11977961168 0.218282227539 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0357358236504 0.0743258471296 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0340216118593 0.0701772020484 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0642595962348 0.128457276422 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0302836908789 0.0628817314937 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.