The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games.It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
Due to a recent survey showing that Whirlwind’s sales is reversing, the author assumes that Whirlwind’s sales will increase dramatically in the future, since their computers has updated. However, lacking evidence and not ruling out some possible factors make the assumption unwarranted.
To begin with, the author relies on a recent survey of video-game players to assume that their sales trend is reversing. However, this survey does mention the exactly number of people attending the survey and place. Specifically, since this survey might be conducted at place near Whirlwind company, and subjects might be their regular customers, this survey show a higher sales trend. As a result, this survey cannot represent the real situation, because it is a unfair survey.
In addition to survey, the editor’s recommendation depends on the assumption that no factors other than up-to-date computers will cause the increasing sales. However, a myriad of other factors, including players who have no money and who have no much time, might be the cause of stopping growing sales. To be specific, even though Video game players like such up-to-date computers, they could not play these games regularly; As a result, Whirlwind’s sales could not increase dramatically. Without ruling out these and other possible causes, the editor cannot justifiably conclude that only by state-of-art computers can increasing sales of video games.
Even if the play will go Whirlwind to play such state-of-art computers, the author’s conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind will increasing in the future is unwarranted. Profit is a factor relating to not only revenue, but also cost. It’s entirely that the cost of hardware and software or other cost associated with computer maintenance will offset, even outweigh the revenue. Besides, a lot of other unexpected occurrence, such as unfavorable economic depression, might prevent Whirlwind from being as profitable as the argument predicts.
To sum up, since the author lack a cogent evidence, and ruling out some possible factors, the author’s assumption is fallacious. The author must offer an evidence showing where they survey at, and the exactly number of subjects; And some factors that undermine the assumption must be ruled out. If author can complete these recommendations, the assumption will be more reasonable.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 13 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 366 350
No. of Characters: 1927 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.374 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.265 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.745 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.521 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.598 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 463, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...esent the real situation, because it is a unfair survey. In addition to surv...
^
Line 3, column 480, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tuation, because it is a unfair survey. In addition to survey, the editor’s reco...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 244, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
... players who have no money and who have no much time, might be the cause of stoppi...
^^
Line 7, column 130, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'increase'
Suggestion: increase
...lusion that the sales of Whirlwind will increasing in the future is unwarranted. Profit is...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, however, if, so, in addition, such as, as a result, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2007.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 366.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.48360655738 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37391431897 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91871960358 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.502732240437 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 607.5 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.5752071687 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.058823529 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5294117647 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.64705882353 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271280182635 0.218282227539 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0929341332007 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0886400683052 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155088430276 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106618356908 0.0628817314937 170% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.5 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.