The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics that require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people, from ten to twenty-five years old, the age group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these
assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The business magazine has mentioned the reduction of Whirlwind video game sales over the two past years. According to a recent survey done, it is predicted that this situation will change and the sales of such games will start to increase. The survey was performed by asking questions from video-game players, and according to the answers given, some changes occurred in the design of games. As a result, it is thought the sales of games to increase in the next few months. According to the information given, the validity of the argument is not warranted, as the scope of the survey is limited, and some points which can have an important impact on the conclusion, are not provided.
At first glance, there is no information about the amount of decrease in sales. The writer has not pointed to the sales figures before the two previous years. It is possible that the difference in sales has not been significant to conclude that sales have declined. The argument had been more valid if the writer would have done a comparison between the sales of games in the long-standing period and shown the existing changes to prove the decrease in the purchase of such games. With this activity, the extra costs for doing a survey that might not have a significant effect on the improvement of sales, are prevented.
In the survey, the only participants are video-game players. It is unclear, whether or not the buyers of such games are only gamers. If other groups of people buy such games, the survey is not valid because the individuals have not been chosen randomly. Also, the opinion of other people as an amateur has not been used for a more accurate conclusion. There might be other preferences in addition to lifelike graphics, such as the plot of stories in games and the graphic quality of games in terms of functionality. Also, games with lifelike graphics need cutting-edge computers that are very expensive. How many people can afford them? How does the writer ensure that more people will buy such costly games? If people would not buy these games how the money spent would be compensated? The survey had been more persuasive if the writer would have resolved these ambiguities.
Additionally, the writer has exactly pointed to the age of people playing such games. This orientation can have an incorrect impact on the results of the survey. Do other age groups not play such games? The effect of older age groups might be more in the increasing sales than the age groups mentioned by the writer.
There is no information about the number of individuals participating in the survey. Is the number used in the survey enough? Additionally, the writer has not mentioned the type of questions. For example, the questions have been “Yes” or “No” type or attendants have to give short answers. If the type of question is yes or no, how the participants were controlled not to answer the questions randomly? For example, some individuals may not have enough patience and answer all questions Yes. This type of questionnaire is not valid to use in the survey and should be omitted. Also, it is guessed that the survey was done a whole of one question. There is no information about other questions.
In conclusion, in my view, the argument and survey have a lot of weaknesses, and they are not enough valid enough for correct predictions about increasing sales.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 34 15
No. of Words: 577 350
No. of Characters: 2712 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.901 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.7 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.971 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.386 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.412 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.37 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 332, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'answers'' or 'answer's'?
Suggestion: answers'; answer's
...ideo-game players, and according to the answers given, some changes occurred in the des...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 314, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had done'?
Suggestion: had done
...ument had been more valid if the writer would have done a comparison between the sales of games...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 77, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
... are video-game players. It is unclear, whether or not the buyers of such games are only gamer...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 838, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had resolved'?
Suggestion: had resolved
... had been more persuasive if the writer would have resolved these ambiguities. Additionally, the w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, so, for example, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2800.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 577.0 441.139720559 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85268630849 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90110439584 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68422460683 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.396880415945 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 879.3 705.55239521 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 19.7664670659 172% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.8273774128 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.3529411765 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.9705882353 23.324526521 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.91176470588 5.70786347227 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 16.0 4.67664670659 342% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.327001050727 0.218282227539 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0889615582463 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0776017264535 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171978311313 0.128457276422 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0980689214316 0.0628817314937 156% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 14.3799401198 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.55 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.