The following appeared in the editorial in an industry newsletter:
"As public concern over drug abuse has increased, authorities have become more vigilant in their efforts to prevent illegal drugs from entering the country. Many drug traffickers have consequently switched from marijuana, which is bulky, or heroin, which has a market too small to justify the risk of severe punishment, to cocaine. Thus, enforcement efforts have ironically resulted in an observed increase in the illegal use of cocaine."
The argument, which is an excerpt from the editorial section of a newspaper, tells us about the current drug pedalling scenario in the country and how the authorities' efforts in eradicating this problem have actually backfired. The argument fails to provide vital statistics to allege that the authorities' efforts have actually led to an increase in the consumption of cocaine, and hence it is inappropriate to make such unwarranted assumptions.
The argument initially describes how the authorities have become more watchful owing solely to an increase in the concerns among the general public. However, there is no data to highlight the claim narcotic related crime rates in the country and no information to prove the increase in the usage of narcotics and illegal drugs over the years. It is true that a general sense of concern and fear arises in the common man, but numbers are essential in tackling problems like drug trafficking.
Secondly, it is highly inappropriate to claim that smugglers have moved from marijuana and heroin to cocaine simply owing to stringent actions from the authorities. It is also possible that the market for the abovementioned drugs have dropped due to an increase in awareness among the common public and maybe they have realised their adverse effects on health and dire consequences they might have to face if they are caught. Furthermore, again no numbers are provided to prove the increasing popularity of cocaine among its users and how the authorities' efforts have "ironically increased" the consumption of cocaine.
In the end, it is essential that proper evidences, statistics and data are provided in matters relating to crimes and before blaming any governmental authorities.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 276 350
No. of Characters: 1423 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.076 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.156 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.858 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.733 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.455 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.696 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... make such unwarranted assumptions. The argument initially describes how the au...
^^^
Line 3, column 134, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...o an increase in the concerns among the general public. However, there is no data to highlight...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 12.9520958084 8% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1471.0 2260.96107784 65% => OK
No of words: 276.0 441.139720559 63% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32971014493 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.07593519647 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03583192343 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.536231884058 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 472.5 705.55239521 67% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 19.7664670659 46% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 36.8373133429 57.8364921388 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 163.444444444 119.503703932 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.6666666667 23.324526521 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1111111111 5.70786347227 177% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.287010483397 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112836913654 0.0743258471296 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0628126413209 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154246208115 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0894248033532 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 14.3799401198 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 32.57 48.3550499002 67% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.197005988 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.23 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.76 8.32208582834 117% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.