The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all ofCorpora’s cit

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of
Corpora’s citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken
when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline
in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of
computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made
citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year’s unusually low expenditures on
fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely
the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.”
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the
argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and
what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The magazine publishes that only one-fourth population lower fraction than in past have fitness this is mainly due to economic decline which limited use of fitness-related goods and has no thing to do with computer use. The argument gives is spurious on its claim as the data defined have no reliable source, population number is not given rather fraction calculation is not clear, computer is source which make people go out unfit, and no guarantee that economy increase will bring back fitness.
The data present in the prompt that one half of past and one-fourth of present, this might be in a situation that 1000 fit of 2000 in past and 2500 fit of 10000 in present, which makes clear that people have increased who are fit. The other important detail in the presentation to see is the source of data may be treacherous which lead to misjudge the fact, say, three-fourth population at present. Giving the vague source and calculation error cannot be sufficed to claim the conclusion such easily.
They find no reason computer making unfit but many people sitting in computer for hours make them feel lazy and tired which will gradually make them not fit if their laziness increased and hampered their daily activities. It is just not just to see the vague term overall fitness level might only ensure the body mass index but exclude eye strains and mental anxiety. This should be considers in the assumption and disregard in this part makes the conclusion fallacious.
Economy might rise and citizen have the purchasing power to fitness power so nobody is fit again. There should be research that with purchasing power people will definitely go to buy fitness products and now spend time on this item to make them healthy. Provided this fact only the conclusion can be claimed.
The published article in the Corpora should focus on the specific facts rather than vague data, ensure fitness of the computer user in all aspect and research on willingness to purchase to validly drawing the given conclusion.

Votes
Average: 5.2 (3 votes)
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Essays by user Bishwas K.C. :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 135, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s this is mainly due to economic decline which limited use of fitness-related goo...
^^
Line 1, column 188, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'nothing'?
Suggestion: nothing
...ed use of fitness-related goods and has no thing to do with computer use. The argument g...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...nomy increase will bring back fitness. The data present in the prompt that one hal...
^^^
Line 2, column 231, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...that people have increased who are fit. The other important detail in the presentat...
^^^
Line 4, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... power to fitness power so nobody is fit again. There should be research that wit...
^^
Line 5, column 227, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o validly drawing the given conclusion.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, may, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1675.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 341.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91202346041 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50940045993 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.539589442815 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 512.1 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.6954251747 57.8364921388 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.583333333 119.503703932 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4166666667 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.33333333333 5.70786347227 23% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0644934406073 0.218282227539 30% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0252498415512 0.0743258471296 34% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0250142400642 0.0701772020484 36% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0407559312671 0.128457276422 32% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0193748842852 0.0628817314937 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 341 350
No. of Characters: 1645 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.297 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.824 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.467 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.579 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.354 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5