The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview. "It is time for the city of Grandview to stop funding the Grandview Symphony Orchestra. It is true that the symphony struggled financially for many years, but last year private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. In addition, the symphony has just announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. For these reasons, we recommend that the city eliminate funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget. We predict that the symphony will flourish in the years to come even without funding from the city." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The extent to which the government should fund for the grandview symphony orchestra has been complicated in its implication. The memo from a budget planner for the city of grandview recommends that the city eliminate funding for the grandview symphony orchestra from next year's budget, since they predict that symphony will flourish even without funding from the city. To buttress the argument, the author cites the following evidences: first, private contribution from last year increased by 200 percent; second attendance doubled; last, symphony has just announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. While it might be true that symphony is capable of self-funding, we are not able to fully evaluate the predicted result from this recommendation due to some unanswered questions.
To begin with, the question requiring more evidences is that whether private contribution provides enough funding for the symphony to survive and whether it would continue to do so. if private contributions have been low over several years, then even they increased by 200 percent last year, they might still not be enough to support the whole operation of symphony. To better evaluate the recommendation, the author ought to provide more detailed information about specific donations from private funding over past many years. In addition, the question that whether condition in last year is atypical needs to be addressed. moreover, the author fails to offer some information about the attendance at symphony's concerts-in-the-park series. if this is just a free activity to publicize symphony and attract the public, then citizens may be willing to join because of curiosity and free of charge. However, some probably will lose interest in it or do not want to pay for such performances. in this case, attendance from this particular concert cannot provide full information and meaningful support to their recommendation. if they no longer hold such events in the future, the attendance would not increase greatly.
moreover, the author unfairly assumes that increase in ticket prices for next year would guaranteed the self-support of symphony, thereby eliminating city funding. this change might make sense if the new price is still affordable for most of previous audiences. Nonetheless, we should not neglect the potential negative influence due to price increase. In all likelihood, when prices increase too much, most individuals might find it not worthy to appreciate symphony any more. it is natural that demands for symphony would decrease when its price increases, in that enhancing prices may crowd out those whose reservation cost is relatively lower. Therefore, no one can ensure that symphony is able to gather much money from audiences after price increase.
last but not least, the author unfairly assumes that grandview symphony orchestra will flourish in the years without funding from the city. As we mentioned above, there is no guarantee that funding from private contribution and increased price are enough to support the symphony. even though funding increases greatly in the next year, the author should also address that whether it is enough to compensate the cost. if government support compose of largest portion of symphony, then removal of its funding would definitely cause symphony in trouble. What’s more, it is likely that costs, including operation costs and labor costs, can increase next year. Hence, even though symphony might benefit from increasing audiences or increasing admission fees, costs may even exceed revenues. In conclusion, without answering the question about impacts for all the potential changes occurring in the future, the conclusion in the memo is problematic.
To sum up, as it stands, the recommendation is replied on evidences with considerable unanswered questions. To better decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result, the author ought to answer the questions as follows: first, whether private contribution and increased attendance are able to support symphony next year; second, whether enhancing prices can generate additional profits; finally, whether symphony can fully support itself without government intervention.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 626, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Moreover
...year is atypical needs to be addressed. moreover, the author fails to offer some informa...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 742, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... symphonys concerts-in-the-park series. if this is just a free activity to publici...
^^
Line 3, column 991, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: In
... not want to pay for such performances. in this case, attendance from this particu...
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Line 3, column 1125, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: If
...ingful support to their recommendation. if they no longer hold such events in the ...
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Suggestion: Moreover
...endance would not increase greatly. moreover, the author unfairly assumes that incre...
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Line 5, column 90, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'guarantee'
Suggestion: guarantee
...se in ticket prices for next year would guaranteed the self-support of symphony, thereby e...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 165, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
...hony, thereby eliminating city funding. this change might make sense if the new pric...
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Suggestion: It
...worthy to appreciate symphony any more. it is natural that demands for symphony wo...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...from audiences after price increase. last but not least, the author unfairly ...
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Suggestion: Last
...nces after price increase. last but not least, the author unfairly assu...
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Suggestion: Even
...ice are enough to support the symphony. even though funding increases greatly in the...
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Line 11, column 418, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: If
...er it is enough to compensate the cost. if government support compose of largest p...
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Line 11, column 448, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'of the largest'.
Suggestion: of the largest
...the cost. if government support compose of largest portion of symphony, then removal of it...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...elf without government intervention.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, nonetheless, second, so, still, then, therefore, while, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 85.0 55.5748502994 153% => OK
Nominalization: 33.0 16.3942115768 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3593.0 2260.96107784 159% => OK
No of words: 650.0 441.139720559 147% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.52769230769 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.04926703274 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88180129402 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 294.0 204.123752495 144% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452307692308 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 1090.8 705.55239521 155% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 2.70958083832 406% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.22255489022 284% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.3774162909 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.321428571 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2142857143 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.07142857143 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.324279578064 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0910152673963 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10953264436 0.0701772020484 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201297608647 0.128457276422 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.157992860488 0.0628817314937 251% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.09 12.5979740519 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 151.0 98.500998004 153% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.