The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of West Egg:
"Two years ago, our consultants predicted that West Egg's landfill, which is used for garbage disposal, would be completely filled within five years. During the past two years, however, town residents have been recycling twice as much aluminum and paper as they did in previous years. Next month the amount of material recycled should further increase, since charges for garbage pickup will double. Furthermore, over ninety percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future. Because of our residents' strong commitment to recycling, the available space in our landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted."
The argument indicates that the available space in West Egg Town’s landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted. Since the author demonstrates that the town’s residents have been recycling twice as much material as they did in previous years, the amount of recycled material should further increase due to higher pickup household garbage fee, and over 90 percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future, therefore the author considers that the available space would not be completely filled within five years. However, there are several evidences needed to strengthen the argument.
First of all, although the author declares that the town’s residents have been recycling twice as much material as they did during the past two years, the evidence of the unchanged amount of garbage is needed to prove that the increased recycling activities are useful for garbage disposal, which would not be filled within five years. Because if the amount of garbage increases as the number of recycling increases, the recycling is not significant as the situation when the amount of garbage does not increase. The landfill will be filled within as usual like five years, which there is no available space lasted for considerably longer than predicted.
In addition, the evidence of the town’s residents would keep recycling in the future and the amount of recycled material would increase are needed since the present situation cannot represent the future. Although the residents are willing to recycle now, what if the number of residents does less recycling in the future, thus the West Egg’s landfill would be completely filled within five years. Besides, the evidence of increased recycled material in the future is important since if the recycled material does not increase, instead of other garbage increase, the total amount of garbage will increase which causes the available space in the landfill to be less.
Finally, evidence of the credibility of the survey is needed to strengthen the argument. Even though the author mentions that over 90 percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future, the number of respondents is unknown, and the reliability is
unknown. Therefore, the author needs to illustrate the number of respondents and the credibility of those respondents to indicate the survey can support the prediction.
In general, three more pieces of evidence are needed to strengthen the argument that the available space in West Egg Town’s landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted because of a strong commitment to recycling. The first evidence should explain that the amount of recycled material increases as usual in the future, then the future situation about increased recycled material is needed, and the credibility of the survey should be provided to strengthen the argument.
儿童足球运动员问题
The author indicates that people in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competitions for children under nine because the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To support the argument, the author points out that as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. Also, a recent study declares that youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents. Besides, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. However, the assumptions of the argument should be stated more to support the argument.
First of all, the author assumes that the recent interviewed study is reliable, but the credibility is suspicious. The author should mention more about the number of interviewees in the study and indicate the representative of those people. Since it only declares youth-league soccer players in several major cities reported pressure, which cannot represent that other cities’ youth- league soccer players have the same issues. Moreover, the number of people who take part in the study needed to be specific to support the argument.
In addition, the author assumes that education experts, say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities, are reliable. However, the number of experts who claim this point should be declared to support the assumption since more experts can represent the profession. Also, long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities needed to be proved since the long practice sessions may not generate a negative influence when the time arrangement is proper.
Finally, the author assumes that the disadvantages of athletic competition for children under nine outweigh any advantages, which is also needed to be proved since the author only declares disadvantages. There might be many advantages of athletic competition which are positive for
children, for instance, athletic competition can teach children about fair game and cooperation, and exercises can stay children’s health that makes them stronger.
In general, in order to support the argument, that people in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine, the author declares several assumptions, including youth-league soccer players in several major cities reported psychological pressure in a recent study, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities, and there are various disadvantages, but more details are needed to prove the argument.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 892 350
No. of Characters: 4748 1500
No. of Different Words: 258 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.465 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.323 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 395 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 277 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 218 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 116 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.353 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5