The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of West Egg:
"Two years ago, our consultants predicted that West Egg's landfill, which is used for garbage disposal, would be completely filled within five years. During the past two years, however, town residents have been recycling twice as much aluminum and paper as they did in previous years. Next month the amount of material recycled should further increase, since charges for garbage pickup will double. Furthermore, over ninety percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future. Because of our residents' strong commitment to recycling, the available space in our landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted."
The argument indicates that the available space in West Egg Town’s landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted. Since the author demonstrates that the town’s residents have been recycling twice as much material as they did in previous years, the amount of recycled material should further increase due to higher pickup household garbage fee, and over 90 percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future, therefore the author considers that the available space would not be completely filled within five years. However, there are several evidences needed to strengthen the argument.
First of all, although the author declares that the town’s residents have been recycling twice as much material as they did during the past two years, the evidence of the unchanged amount of garbage is needed to prove that the increased recycling activities are useful for garbage disposal, which would not be filled within five years. Because if the amount of garbage increases as the number of recycling increases, the recycling is not significant as the situation when the amount of garbage does not increase. The landfill will be filled within as usual like five years, which there is no available space lasted for considerably longer than predicted.
In addition, the evidence of the town’s residents would keep recycling in the future and the amount of recycled material would increase are needed since the present situation cannot represent the future. Although the residents are willing to recycle now, what if the number of residents does less recycling in the future, thus the West Egg’s landfill would be completely filled within five years. Besides, the evidence of increased recycled material in the future is important since if the recycled material does not increase, instead of other garbage increase, the total amount of garbage will increase which causes the available space in the landfill to be less.
Finally, evidence of the credibility of the survey is needed to strengthen the argument. Even though the author mentions that over 90 percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future, the number of respondents is unknown, and the reliability is
unknown. Therefore, the author needs to illustrate the number of respondents and the credibility of those respondents to indicate the survey can support the prediction.
In general, three more pieces of evidence are needed to strengthen the argument that the available space in West Egg Town’s landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted because of a strong commitment to recycling. The first evidence should explain that the amount of recycled material increases as usual in the future, then the future situation about increased recycled material is needed, and the credibility of the survey should be provided to strengthen the argument.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2414 1500
No. of Different Words: 151 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.158 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.612 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 203 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 110 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.003 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.446 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.663 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 92, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...West Egg Town’s landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted. Sinc...
^^^
Line 1, column 191, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...onstrates that the town’s residents have been recycling twice as much material as...
^^
Line 1, column 284, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n previous years, the amount of recycled material should further increase due to ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 191, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the evidence of the unchanged amount of garbage is needed to prove that the incr...
^^^
Line 3, column 293, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ivities are useful for garbage disposal, which would not be filled within five ye...
^^^^
Line 3, column 391, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...f the amount of garbage increases as the number of recycling increases, the recyc...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 570, Rule ID: AS_ADJ_AS[1]
Message: Comparison is written "as usual 'as'".
Suggestion: as
...landfill will be filled within as usual like five years, which there is no availabl...
^^^^
Line 3, column 601, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...as usual like five years, which there is no available space lasted for considerab...
^^
Line 5, column 292, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ow, what if the number of residents does less recycling in the future, thus the W...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, finally, first, however, if, then, therefore, thus, in addition, in general, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2480.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 468.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29914529915 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68431522933 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 204.123752495 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.333333333333 0.468620217663 71% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 765.9 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 98.5137771366 57.8364921388 170% => OK
Chars per sentence: 177.142857143 119.503703932 148% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.4285714286 23.324526521 143% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.70786347227 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183903617651 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0812369368749 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0735342801279 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10143299147 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0737988557293 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.2 14.3799401198 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 48.3550499002 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.197005988 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.