The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memo, the author suggests that the company should resume production of alpaca overcoat to gain profits. To support the argument, the author points out that both the demand and the price of the alpaca overcoat will be high since there is no major competitors selling that and the price of other types of clothing have climbed up. However, additional evidence needs to be provided in order to fully evaluate the proposal.
The first evidence we need is regarding whether that kind of alpaca overcoat will be popular. The author assumes that the 5-year gap without offering an alpaca overcoat and quitted production by other competitors are responsible for the high demand of the coat. However, we find no concrete evidence to substantiate the relationship between these. Perhaps the fashion trend has been shifted for a while and the overcoat is not popular as it was before. Or, perhaps other competitors decided to stop manufacturing the overcoat because they sensed there would not be sustainable demand. Without considering these conditions and factors, the author could not conclusively link the inevitable relationship.
Furthermore, another evidence that might be conducive to the argument is customers' willing to pay higher prices for the overcoats. A hidden assumption implied by the author in the argument is that the increased prices of other types of clothing can be equally be applied to indicate the trend for the overcoat. However, we may ask whether the overcoat and other types of clothing are similar enough and comparable. For example, maybe the cost of the wool fabric used to manufacuture the coat stay stable or even decline in the past five years, thus the higher price might not be accepted by customers. Or, the increased prices of other types of clothings are due to their fashionable designs that the overcoat might not own or enbody. Unless the author takes these scenarios into account, otherwise we cannot draw the conclusion that customers would be happy to accept a higher price of the coat.
Last but not least, one more evidence that is also important to the argument could come from the probability of the increasing profit. Even though the it might be true that the demand of the overcoat is quite high and customers are willing to pay higher for it, the company profits do not necessarily grow. The profits come not only from the sale of the product which are reflected in the demand and the price, but also from the cost including operation fees, salaries, material costs, etc. There might be possibilities that the supplies of the high quality wool fabric are so limited that they were sold at a much higher price than usual, resulting in a comparable higher price of the coat which customers might not willing to take. Consequently, the sale of the overcoat will slump dramatically and the company will not make money from that.
In conclusion, even though the author proposes a probably profitable business plan for the company to make profits by resuming the production of alpaca overcoat, he or she must provide concrete evidence to support the feasibility. Such evidence includes, but is not limited to, the demand of the overcoat, the price customers willing to pay and other factors such as costs and expenses.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: For example, maybe the cost of the wool fabric used to manufacuture the coat stay stable or even decline in the past five years, thus the higher price might not be accepted by customers.
Error: manufacuture Suggestion: manufacture
Sentence: Or, the increased prices of other types of clothings are due to their fashionable designs that the overcoat might not own or enbody.
Error: enbody Suggestion: embody
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 546 350
No. of Characters: 2666 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.834 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.883 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.573 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.406 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 148, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'it'?
Suggestion: the; it
...y of the increasing profit. Even though the it might be true that the demand of the ov...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, furthermore, however, if, may, regarding, so, thus, while, for example, in conclusion, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2728.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 546.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99633699634 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83390555256 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63791966035 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441391941392 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 866.7 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.4101601476 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.0 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8181818182 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.13636363636 5.70786347227 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0960810240949 0.218282227539 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0340354081995 0.0743258471296 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0294482884327 0.0701772020484 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0589188053642 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0289686505814 0.0628817314937 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.