The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States."For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States."For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this memo, the owner argues that all of the cheese stores throughout the U.S. should deal primarily with domestic cheese rather than imported ones. In spite of the fact that the argument may seem to convict at first, the lack of evidence leads me to conclude that the argument is flawed on many grounds.

To begin with, the author needs to provide solid evidence that the five best-selling cheese at their newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. it is plausible that the best five kinds of cheese take only a minute portion of all of the cheeses they sell. To be specific, they may sell numerous kinds of cheeses and many of them may take a similar portion of their selling. therefore, it could meaningless to compare the selling portion of the items each other.

On top of that, more concrete pieces of information are needed on a recent survey by cheeses of the World magazine which shows an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. There are no specific data of subscribers with regard to their actual numbers nor their influence on cheese consuming market, we can not tell the survey is the information we can rely on. In the worst case, imported ones are preferable in the market than the domestic ones.

For the last, the author also needs to provide clear evidence that discontinuing stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese can improve profits in all of their stores. it is possible that most of the imported cheeses are lucrative so its profit per selling one cheese is higher than domestic ones. If so, they not only do not have to spend much budget to store a number of imported cheeses in their stores, but they also attract consumers who want to buy imported ones.

In conclusion, the argument is unsound on many grounds. therefore, the author has to provide more solid and specified shreds of evidence in order to make the memo much more persuasive.

Votes
Average: 7.7 (3 votes)
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Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 37, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
In this memo, the owner argues that all of the cheese stores throughout the U.S. shoul...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...omestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. it is plausible that the best five kinds o...
^^
Line 3, column 243, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...of cheese take only a minute portion of all of the cheeses they sell. To be specific, they...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 391, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...ake a similar portion of their selling. therefore, it could meaningless to compare the se...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 179, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...improve profits in all of their stores. it is possible that most of the imported c...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...umers who want to buy imported ones. In conclusion, the argument is unsound o...
^^
Line 9, column 59, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...he argument is unsound on many grounds. therefore, the author has to provide more solid a...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, therefore, as to, in conclusion, in spite of, to begin with, with regard to, on top of that

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1604.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 334.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80239520958 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27500489853 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45672502868 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508982035928 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 499.5 705.55239521 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.2722875295 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.571428571 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8571428571 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.71428571429 5.70786347227 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207742476042 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0774232681861 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0673243975724 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116997694643 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0613945896501 0.0628817314937 98% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- not exactly

argument 3 -- OK
----------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1557 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.662 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.401 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.831 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.408 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.728 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5