The vice president of Butler Manufacturing recommended that each shift should be shortened by one hour to reduce on-the-job accidents. While the recommendation might hold water, it is based on some assumptions which, if proven wrong, will significantly weaken the argument. To evaluate the recommendations, the following concerns should be addressed.
First, the recommendation is based on only the difference between the durations of the shifts to factories. It does not address the safety measures taken by the two factories. It is possible that Panoply Industries take more safety measures than Butler Manufacturing. Panoply may have more up-to-date safety gears and instruments that protect their workers from accidents and ensure safety. On the other hand, it is possible that Butler Manufacturing relies on old safety measures and the management is not concerned about upgrading the safety tools. If all these are true, inadequate safety measures taken by Butler Manufacturing might be the main reason behind the increased accidents in the factory and this will seriously weaken the recommendation of the vice president.
Second, the memo mentions a government study report about fatigue and sleep deprivation being significant factors behind on-the-job accidents. However, it does not mention if the workers of Butler Manufacturing are really sleep-deprived and have fatigue. It is possible that despite working one extra hour compared to the workers of Panoply Industries, most of the workers of Butler Manufacturing are not sleep deprived and do not have fatigue. If so, the reason behind the accidents would be something else other than fatigue and sleep deprivation and the government study would be irrelevant in this regard. A proper survey should be conducted among the workers of Butler Manufacturing about their work-life balance and how they enjoy working their shift to find the significance of the said factors of the government study in this scenario.
Third, the argument does not mention the level of training workers have in both factories. It is possible that the workers of Panoply Industries are highly trained to protect and handle any occupational hazards inside the factory. They may have regular drills and demos that make them ready to face these hazards. On the other hand, the workers of Butler Manufacturing may not be adequately trained to save themselves from accidents. The management of Butler Manufacturing may be reluctant to initiate training programs. If this is true, blaming one extra shift hour for the accidents would not be appropriate, and recommending the shift hours would be invalid.
Finally, the argument does not mention about the change in the rates of accidents in Panoplyb Industries before and after they have reduced their shift hours. It is possible that the accident rates among the workers of Panoply may be remained unchanged or even increased after the work shift has been reduced because workers have to work faster to finish their work within a shorter time. If a shorter work shift does not benefit the accident rates in Panoply, it is not appropriate to use that case to reduce the work shift in Butler Manufacturing to decrease accident rates.
The recommendation of reducing the shift length might be a good one. However, before implementing any such change, the above-mentioned concerns should be addressed and assessed properly in order to find the best out of the change.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 548 350
No. of Characters: 2848 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.838 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.197 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.887 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 211 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.92 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.371 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, really, second, so, third, while, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2912.0 2260.96107784 129% => OK
No of words: 548.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31386861314 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83832613839 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94593602789 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.406934306569 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 911.7 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1713607863 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.48 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.92 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.6 5.70786347227 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.30782610434 0.218282227539 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.098701184587 0.0743258471296 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0737826548342 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161061163193 0.128457276422 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.063884028491 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.