Vice president of the warehouses claims that to save money on pest control it will be wise to invest with the Buzzoff pest control company. The vice president claim is based on the various statistical figures and past experience with the two rival companies operating in different cities. However, there are many gaps and loopholes in the memo that does not substantiate the final conclusion of the vice president. Vice president of the food distribution company fails to take in account various factors and thus engaging himself in making hasty decisions.
There are many factors which the vice president fails to mention and making his argument seem vague and implausible. Foe example, what was the total cost of the stock of food that was initially stored in the both warehouse? If the total cost of the food in the two warehouses varies substantially then it will make the argument ambiguous. If the total cost of food stored at the palm city warehouse was $100,000 and total cost of food in Wintervale warehouse was only $20,000 then it will change the result significantly. It will mean that about 50% of the stock that was stored in wintervale has been destroyed by the pest and only 20% of stock was destroyed by the pest. Thus, fly-away pest company proved profitable and more efficient than Buzzoff pest control company.
Vice president also fails to mention- what was the difference in the price charged by both the companies? If the price charged by Buzzoff was very high like $50000 per month while Fly away charges only $1000 per month then total amount bared by company in case of Buzzoff would be $60000 including the loss of $10000 and amount of only $21000 for fly-away pest control. Thus, making Fly off pest control gets edge over Buzz off comopany.
Moreover, was the damage same since the company signed the contract with the fly buzz company? Vice president fails to provide the data of the preceding months. If the loss caused by the pest was less in preceding months in palm city and heavy loss in wintervale then vice president conclusion to save money does not seems to be successful. Vice president must provide data of loss caused by pest in respective two cities of all the preceding months.What was the condition of two cities in the last month? It may be the case that palm city may suffer from very disastrous conditions like flood which engenders the growth of the pests. What was the type, quality & condition in which it was stored of food in the warehouses in palm and wintervale? These factors can have major role in damaging the food in the warehouse.
To sum up, vice president is lacking in the gravity of the data provided in the memo. To make his argument more strong and plausible vice president must provide more explicit data of loss caused by the pest in all the months, mention the total cost of food stored in the two warehouse, environmental condition of the both cities in previous month and detail about the type, quality & condition of the food stock in which it was stored initially before damage in the warehouses.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 214, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experience'.
Suggestion: experience
... on the various statistical figures and past experience with the two rival companies operating ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 225, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...initially stored in the both warehouse? If the total cost of the food in the two w...
^^
Line 7, column 318, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'seem'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: seem
...ident conclusion to save money does not seems to be successful. Vice president must p...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 318, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'seem'
Suggestion: seem
...ident conclusion to save money does not seems to be successful. Vice president must p...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 451, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: What
... two cities of all the preceding months.What was the condition of two cities in the ...
^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'then', 'thus', 'while', 'to sum up']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.279437609842 0.25644967241 109% => OK
Verbs: 0.145869947276 0.15541462614 94% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0826010544815 0.0836205057962 99% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0474516695958 0.0520304965353 91% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0175746924429 0.0272364105082 65% => OK
Prepositions: 0.14762741652 0.125424944231 118% => OK
Participles: 0.0474516695958 0.0416121511921 114% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.4825892113 2.79052419416 89% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0175746924429 0.026700313972 66% => OK
Particles: 0.00175746924429 0.001811407834 97% => OK
Determiners: 0.107205623902 0.113004496875 95% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0175746924429 0.0255425247493 69% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0210896309315 0.0127820249294 165% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3067.0 2731.13054187 112% => OK
No of words: 535.0 446.07635468 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.73271028037 6.12365571057 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.57801047555 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.285981308411 0.378187486979 76% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.220560747664 0.287650121315 77% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.155140186916 0.208842608468 74% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.121495327103 0.135150697306 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4825892113 2.79052419416 89% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 207.018472906 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.38691588785 0.469332199767 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 44.6313242843 52.1807786196 86% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.039408867 110% => OK
Sentence length: 24.3181818182 23.2022227129 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.2747265387 57.7814097925 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.409090909 141.986410481 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3181818182 23.2022227129 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.5 0.724660767414 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 46.3742565845 51.9672348444 89% => OK
Elegance: 2.25 1.8405768891 122% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.513272255229 0.441005458295 116% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.172761316974 0.135418324435 128% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.100298718781 0.0829849096947 121% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.605959606456 0.58762219726 103% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.170986424877 0.147661913831 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.240704752664 0.193483328276 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0731820469606 0.0970749176394 75% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.548658632284 0.42659136922 129% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.135351690494 0.0774707102158 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.389979264757 0.312017818177 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0704623541951 0.0698173142475 101% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.33743842365 48% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.87684729064 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.82512315271 124% => OK
Positive topic words: 4.0 6.46551724138 62% => OK
Negative topic words: 9.0 5.36822660099 168% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.82389162562 142% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.