The following appeared in a memo at XYZ Company.
"When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the memo at XYZ company, the author concludes that Delany’s clients are more efficient than Walsh’s by citing that Delany’s clients took an average of six months to get a job whereas Walsh’s took nine months. He comes to this conclusion based on Delany’s client’s success last year. However, this might be true. But before we can fully assess the validity of the argument, the author must provide three pieces of evidence if the argument is to hold water.
First of all, the author assumes that the laid-off employees from XYZ company have been greatly benefited after taking the service of Delany Personnel Firm since they have been able to get jobs more quickly than those who did not. However, this might not be true. It is possible that those employees after being laid off have worked hard on their weak points, developing their résumés and interviewing skills on their own. It is also possible that after they have been laid off, they have gained more experience in searching for jobs more efficiently than ever before.
Moreover, the author presumes, without justification, that Walsh Personnel Firm is cheaper than Delany and it provides poor service. But this might not be true. For example, it is possible that Walsh is more customer-friendly than Delany, who cares more about employee satisfaction with a low charge. It is also possible that Walsh demands a low charge so that everybody can afford their assistance. If a firm demands a cheaper price doesn’t necessarily mean that it provides low quality.
Last but not the least, the author assumes that Delany is predominant. He also provides a testimony that Delany has more staff and a bigger number of branch offices. Nevertheless, this might be incorrect. A firm has a greater number of staff and a number of branches don’t reflect its predominance. It is possible that Delany opened their branch to boost their profit. There is also a probability of providing unequal services from all the branches.
In conclusion, the author may be correct in arguing that Delany's Personnel Firm ranks higher than Walsh Personnel Firm. However, as it stands now, the argument stands on three assumptions that dramatically hinder its validity. If the author would like to increase the persuasiveness of his argument, he must provide the evidence above and he must also provide accurate results as well.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 1918 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.843 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.557 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.269 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.309 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 400, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... everybody can afford their assistance. If a firm demands a cheaper price doesn’t ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, well, whereas, for example, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1987.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 394.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04314720812 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68898657835 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497461928934 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 602.1 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.6758479322 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.3181818182 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9090909091 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.40909090909 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.209807951531 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0509077033519 0.0743258471296 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0736852448737 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108848974629 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103390080108 0.0628817314937 164% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.