The following appeared in a memorandum from the new president of the Patriot car manufacturing company In the past the body styles of Patriot cars have been old fashioned and our cars have not sold as well as have our competitors cars But now since many r

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memorandum from the new president of the Patriot car manufacturing company."In the past, the body styles of Patriot cars have been old-fashioned, and our cars have not sold as well as have our competitors' cars. But now, since many regions in this country report rapid increases in the numbers of newly licensed drivers, we should be able to increase our share of the market by selling cars to this growing population. Thus, we should discontinue our oldest models and concentrate instead on manufacturing sporty cars. We can also improve the success of our marketing campaigns by switching our advertising to the Youth Advertising agency, which has successfully promoted the country's leading soft drink."

The new president of Patriot car manufacturing company concludes in his memorandum that the company should stop manufacturing the old model cars and start a new production line which would make sporty car. The president also suggest that they should shift to Youth Advertising agency, to promote their new product. The argument lies on series of assumptions which are unpersuasive and illogical. A few key factors to prove it are:
First, the president concludes that body styles Patriot cars have gone out of fashion and they are not being sold as well as their competitors' cars. There are many reasons for a decrease in sales like, it might happen that Patriot company had increase price of the car and people are not able to afford it any more. It might also happen that inflation rates are very high right now and the people are thinking of saving money instead of buying a new car. It could also happen that the competitors' are selling a more advance car with better benefits and in the same range as the Patriot company, as a result people are more willing to buy the competitors car rather than Patriot.
Secondly, president claims that as there is a rapid increase in the number of newly licensed drivers, so they must focus on selling cars to the younger population. Selling cars to the younger population would not work as they are just starting a career and buying a new car is huge investment. So, many people would avoid buying a new car in their initial stage of career.
Thirdly, president suggest that they should start manufacturing sporty cars instead of old model. changing the production line completely would increase cost and it would affect the profits of the company. Sporty cars contains more powerful engine, so more fuel would be required to run it. This could also be one of the factors why people might not buy the new sporty car as it would increase the cost of running the car.
Furthermore, president suggest that they should change their marketing agency and give Youth Advertising agency a chance as they have successfully promoted the country's leading soft drink. There is no mention that how much time it took for the agency to make the soft drink the leading one. Cost of changing the agency is also not mention and if the cost if more then again profit would be hindered.
In conclusion, president should first do benchmarking to see where is the company lacking than their competitors. After that president should conduct a survey and see how many people are interested in buying a new sporty car. Finally, the president should do a proper cost analysis before making any changes in the production line or changing the advertising agency.

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Average: 6.3 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 316, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...g agency, to promote their new product. The argument lies on series of assumptions ...
^^^
Line 1, column 427, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...llogical. A few key factors to prove it are: First, the president concludes that ...
^^^
Line 1, column 431, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ical. A few key factors to prove it are: First, the president concludes that body...
^^^
Line 2, column 643, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'competitors'' or 'competitor's'?
Suggestion: competitors'; competitor's
...sult people are more willing to buy the competitors car rather than Patriot. Secondly, pr...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 99, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Changing
...uring sporty cars instead of old model. changing the production line completely would in...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 356, Rule ID: IF_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...ncy is also not mention and if the cost if more then again profit would be hindere...
^^
Line 5, column 364, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[2]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...lso not mention and if the cost if more then again profit would be hindered. In co...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, furthermore, if, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, in conclusion, as a result, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2223.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 462.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81168831169 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.518238972 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.435064935065 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 685.8 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.5088845911 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.15 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.349053299965 0.218282227539 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115076894353 0.0743258471296 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101969373989 0.0701772020484 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188574543888 0.128457276422 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.107046583371 0.0628817314937 170% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2179 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.716 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.471 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.316 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.356 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.35 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.35 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5