The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies
released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
While it may be true that a reduction in operating cost is necessary In order to reverse the recent decline in profits, at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores, the author's argument does not make a cogent case for a reduction in operating cost in other to increase profit. It is easy to understand that Profit will increase with a reduction in expenses, but the argument is rife with holes and assumptions and therefore not strong enough to lead to an increase in profit.
Firstly, it was assumed that what is applicable at the store in downtown Marston will be applicable to the other nine stores. Certainly, this is a big assumption and if not thoroughly examined will eventually lead to a reverse of the desired outcome. It was stated that the Martson store downtown now closes at 6 pm rather than the usual 9. pm, However, the outcome of this massive reduction in opening time was not stated. It will be necessary to know what the outcome of this reduction in opening time was for the Martson store downtown. Also, assuming the outcome was favorable, it is not certain that there will be the same outcome in the nine other stores. For example, People in other locations of the store might prefer to rent a video from 6 p.m and not later. It will be necessary to know what the 'rush hour' ( that is, a time when more people rent videos) is for the various stores. If the rush hour is more between 6 pm to 9 pm, then implementing this policy will not be effective to lead to an increased profit, and as such the recommendation is weakened.
Secondly, it was stated that a reduction in stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago would eventually lead to an increment in profit. As tempting as this may seem, it will be necessary to know the proportion of people who rents current videos are in relative to people who rent videos released more than five years. Until this question is answered, the argument is weakened as customers will go and find some other stores that still have the videos in stock and this will certainly translate to more decrease in profit.
In conclusion, the hasty decision should not be made so as not to ultimately jeopardize the entire company as the above questions are yet to be answered. Until these questions are responded to, the recommendation is weakened.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 1864 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.513 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.553 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.755 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.348 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...s Galore’s ten video rental stores, the authors argument does not make a cogent case fo...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 341, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Pm
...closes at 6 pm rather than the usual 9. pm, However, the outcome of this massive r...
^^
Line 2, column 816, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be necessary to know what the rush hour that is, a time when more people rent vi...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, while, as for, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1908.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 412.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.63106796117 5.12650576532 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6143109126 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.434466019417 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 611.1 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.8278023241 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.25 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.75 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.25 5.70786347227 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154689930737 0.218282227539 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0532502675769 0.0743258471296 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0639710627806 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0950754598745 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.072382791771 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.87 12.5979740519 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.