The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The Mozart School of Music web site is promoting their education as the best choice for parents to enroll their children in music lessons. Their line of reasoning is that they featured the best education for nearly every musical instruments and genre from distinguished musicians, and also offer education for every age level regardless of their ability. However, careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless the conclusion is, for it is based on oversimplified and unwarranted assumptions.
First of all, the Mozart School claimed that the faculty includes some of the most celebrated musicians. They hastily assume that the distinguished musicians can offer the best education. However, they neglected the fact that people who have the best technique maybe have no talent in teaching others. The ability of teaching children from a ride range of age levels needs to be studied and practiced. The teachers should be well educated in teaching and also have sufficient patience, for children might sometimes be intractable. Thus, the Mozart School needs to make sure the musicians to have been qualified in teaching.
Moreover, even if their faculty has been qualified in teaching children, the Mozart School fails to provide information about their charges. They might claim that due to the faculty including distinguished musicians, their charges might be relatively high. They neglected the fact that while parents are choosing academic institutions, they might simultaneously consider the quality and the price. If their charges are a lot higher than other music schools with the same quality in teaching, then they won't be the best choice for parents. So, they might need to provide their prices as well as their teaching quality compared to other music academies.
Lastly, the Mozart School assumes that every student attending the Mozart school have the ambition to be professional musicians. What if some of the students come to learn only for their leisure interests? To be a professional musician needs to practice repeatedly and also be extremely devoted. The students will be given tremendous pressure if the school assumes that they are to become professionals. Hence, the school needs to inform that they give different education to different students.
In conclusion, the argument is poorly supported and short-sighted. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about how professional their faculty is, the charge of their education, also, whether will they adjust their teaching to meet each students' needs.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 2120 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.248 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.715 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.238 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.935 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.81 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 28, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: website
The Mozart School of Music web site is promoting their education as the bes...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 67, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...chool claimed that the faculty includes some of the most celebrated musicians. They hastily...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 138, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...n to be professional musicians. What if some of the students come to learn only for their l...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, so, then, thus, well, while, in conclusion, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2176.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 403.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.39950372208 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81182281708 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481389578164 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 657.0 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.7138047107 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.619047619 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1904761905 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.90476190476 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.318285312078 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102988837036 0.0743258471296 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108518798497 0.0701772020484 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177248582167 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0792589872291 0.0628817314937 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.04 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.