The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches.
Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives.
This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study.
Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods.
With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The study conducted on the residents of Mentia, tells us that the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia have declined due to the effects of the chemical Salicyclates. This premise was based on the fact that the addition of Salicyclate to their products as preservatives and flavour additives by food- processing companies lead to a steady decline in the headaches. But, there need to be specific evidences to uphold this argument.
Firstly, is there any specific amount of data suggesting the direct decline in the headaches of the citizens provided by the companies that add the chemical. The companies are focused on using the chemical as a preservative and not as an anodyne to relieve headaches. For example, say if a company is using coconut oil which is salubrious, as an alternative to processed oil because it acts a enhanced preservative then there is solid evidence that the people consuming the coconut oil fried food are immune to illnesses. Also, if a company is using natural sugars instead of artificial ones in their products to improve their, quality of the product, there are signs that people consuming the product will never problems of diabetes. Thus, it's quite critical to provide a direct relation by the companies to bolster this argument.
Secondly, it is important to take into account the lifestyle of the people living in Mentia, whether they are themselves fit as fiddle due a healthy diet and exercise. To illustrate this, take into account the fact if the people themselves are very cautious about their dietary requirements and maintain a healthy exercise regime, then even without the need of the chemicals like Salicyclates they are likely to not face health problems.
In conclusion, in order to completely authenticate the claims that Salicyclates are useful to control headaches, the complete data of the affect of the chemical on the populace considered must be taken into account and there must a detail report regarding the lifestyle of the people and how the drug may or may not be required. Till these evidences then the presented argument must be considered flawed.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 353 350
No. of Characters: 1750 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.958 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.744 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.225 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.598 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 168, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... have declined due to the effects of the chemical Salicyclates. This premise was ...
^^
Line 3, column 392, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...native to processed oil because it acts a enhanced preservative then there is so...
^
Line 3, column 393, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ative to processed oil because it acts a enhanced preservative then there is soli...
^^
Line 5, column 336, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...maintain a healthy exercise regime, then even without the need of the chemicals l...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1791.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 353.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07365439093 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82220659254 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.515580736544 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 589.5 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.4390687094 57.8364921388 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 149.25 119.503703932 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.4166666667 23.324526521 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.91666666667 5.70786347227 156% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.112459411795 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0419752752478 0.0743258471296 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0540331908776 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0658207802365 0.128457276422 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0454698786815 0.0628817314937 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.72 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.23 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.