There is a complaint raised by a parent to the principal of Kensington's school regarding the change in cafeteria's management that is supposed to serve healthy meals to the school students. As anticipated, the cafeteria failed to meet the requirements of the students which made the parent to seek the principal's attention. At first glance, the memo stating the serious health consequences for Kensington students may appear plausible, but there are serious flaws that the parent failed to substantiate with proper evidences.
The parent of the student warns about the health consequences that the students are about to face based upon unwarranted assumptions. Does a low calorie diet or a meal supposed to detriment the health ? Should there be any possible reason behind a low calorie diet affecting the appetite of students, then the parent's warning could be taken in to consideration. The author of the arguments failed to address the details on the menu served to the students. There may be a possible conflict of choices between the preferences of students and healthy food option. For instance, a green sandwich option is much more healthier meal compared to a tasty bacon or hotdog. While hotdogs may be the option children may prefer, a healthy food server may no such varieties to address the eclectic taste buds of students.
Furthermore, the parent assumes that children may stick to bringing their own unhealthier meals. Even though it s the responsibility of a parent to pack healthier meals, the author carelessly points about pupil preparing their own meals. Is this even possible without proper parent's guidance? Had the author mentioned about the loss the cafeteria may incur in the near future, then the statement seems valid. This assertion regarding the meals packed holds no water which in turn undermines the effort put by the parent to ensure kid's health. Moreover, the parent presumes that an unenjoyable meal with meagre lunch options is surely unhealthy. How about a kid enjoying pizza over green vegetables? In fact, drawing conclusions from a child's point of view is far more unrealistic than understanding the righteous meal. Thus, the author's reprimanding about the health issues holds no water.
To recapitulate, the predictions regarding health without appropriating details and concluding based on a child's preference regarding meal is quite irrational. However, if the parent had provided details about the lunch options and the calorie deficit meals served with exacting about the ingredients used for preparation, then the consequences faced can be evaluated.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 2151 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.196 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.813 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.634 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.315 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 302, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'principals'' or 'principal's'?
Suggestion: principals'; principal's
...dents which made the parent to seek the principals attention. At first glance, the memo s...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 607, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'healthier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: healthier
...stance, a green sandwich option is much more healthier meal compared to a tasty bacon or hotdo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 369, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he consequences faced can be evaluated.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, then, thus, while, for instance, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 28.8173652695 35% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2184.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 414.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27536231884 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88387128724 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521739130435 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 649.8 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.407942051 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.0 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7142857143 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.14285714286 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189215377083 0.218282227539 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0593009543883 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0597697153968 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12104784371 0.128457276422 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0600572038599 0.0628817314937 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.