The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
The following argument is flawed for numerous reasons.Primarily, the argument is based on unwarranted assumption that if the students does not find the low fat, low calorie food enjoyable most of the student will not like this food and also the argument also makes another unwarranted assumption that the food that student will bring from their home is unhealthy, rendering its conclusion, if Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students, Invalid.
The argument fails to provide any justification that most of the students of the school will not like this low fat, low calorie food which is important to evaluate the argument.Yes the argument provides information that some of the students does not find this food enjoyable but that does not mean that a large portion of the students does not find this food enjoyable. It might be possible that only let us say 2 to 3 percent of student does not like this low fat, low calorie food enjoyable but most of the students enjoy this food and find it tasty. The argument would be more convincing if it had provided more information regarding what portion the students does not enjoy the food. Even then the argument had to provide further information about why there is no other options than replacing the vendor, it might be possible that making some changes in the food will make students to enjoy it which ultimately leads to healthier food.
The argument also leave many other unanswered questions, even if most of the students does not enjoy this food how can one assume that replacing the vendor will solve this problem. it might be possible that the new vendor will be more unhea
Finally, the argument assumes without warrant that if students bring their food instead of eating cafeteria food it is going to be less healthy. it might be possible that when student bring their own food insted of eating from cafeteria they will ask their parents to pack lunch for them which is going to more healthy than any cafeteria food.
Because the argument makes many unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make an convincing case that if Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for kensington students.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1843 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.812 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.437 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 42.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.975 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.524 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.758 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.26 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 55, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Primarily
...argument is flawed for numerous reasons.Primarily, the argument is based on unwarranted a...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 178, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Yes
...h is important to evaluate the argument.Yes the argument provides information that ...
^^^
Line 5, column 221, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... the argument provides information that some of the students does not find this food enjoya...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 182, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ing the vendor will solve this problem. it might be possible that the new vendor w...
^^
Line 13, column 146, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ia food it is going to be less healthy. it might be possible that when student bri...
^^
Line 13, column 265, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...om cafeteria they will ask their parents to pack lunch for them which is going to...
^^
Line 17, column 75, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...warranted assumptions, it fails to make an convincing case that if Swift is not re...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, regarding, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1891.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 381.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96325459318 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58818736607 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 204.123752495 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.385826771654 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 558.0 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 19.7664670659 46% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 42.0 22.8473053892 184% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 111.126665578 57.8364921388 192% => OK
Chars per sentence: 210.111111111 119.503703932 176% => OK
Words per sentence: 42.3333333333 23.324526521 181% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.77777777778 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.167260176729 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0878310425127 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0571599791742 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100409029631 0.128457276422 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0447279847055 0.0628817314937 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 23.1 14.3799401198 161% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.31 48.3550499002 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.5 12.197005988 152% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.38 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 98.500998004 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 28.0 12.3882235529 226% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 18.8 11.1389221557 169% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.