The following is a memorandum from the office of Mayor Harrison Smith Jones.
"In order to relieve Briggsville’s notorious traffic congestion, Mayor Harrison Smith Jones plans to build a multi-million dollar subway system. The subway will run through the major downtown areas, a part of the town where buses serve as the only form of public transportation. For years, residents have been complaining both about inconsistent buses, and the general lack of safety while riding the buses. Additionally, the subway will be running twenty-four hours a day. Since motorists will spend less time in traffic, Mayor Harrison Smith Jones expects to see an immediate increase in worker productivity, which will improve the economy of Briggsville."
The Mayor has presented a plan to counteract the traffic congestion on Briggsville, which he believe will also imporve the economy. There are a lot of loopholes in the current plan which need to looked at with more scrutiny to affirm the viability of th plan.
Firstly, the Mayor's proposed subway system will run through the downtown areas where buses are the only form of transportation. However, it isn't mentioned that buses are the major contibuting factor to the traffic congestion. If this proves to be the case, there isno surety that the subway system will ameliorate the current problem.
Secondly, there is no proof provided that people will easily switch to the subway system as their primary mode of transportation. A detailed survey needs to be done to check if there is enough incentive for regular travellers to switch to a subway system.
Also, the high price tag of the project needs to be justified. Other measures could have been taken to improve the traffic, such as, installation of traffic lighs, assigning more traffic police to ensure smooth movement on frequently congested roads, construction of overhead bridges in high-vehicle density zones and so on. People have laready been complaining about the lack of safe and consistent buses. A very obvious alternative would be to improve security on local buses and increase the existing fleet to match the demand. Directly jumping to an extravagant plan shows poor judgment on part of the Mayor.
Furthermore, there is an assumption that motorists spending less time in traffic will lead to an increase in worker productivity. Concrete evidence is needed to back up this ostensible statement. Worker productivity is a function of a plethora of factors like office environment, organizational factors, personnel issues, technical skill and others. There is no reason to believe that ease of transportation is related to any of the above mentioned factors, let alone a factor itself.
In conclusion, the Mayor needs to give a more elaborate list of details, citing his reason for such an extravagant plan, and prove whether the project is indeed as ambitious as he makes it out to be.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1760 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.8 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.495 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.598 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 94, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'believes'.
Suggestion: believes
...fic congestion on Briggsville, which he believe will also imporve the economy. There ar...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 141, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...nly form of transportation. However, it isnt mentioned that buses are the major cont...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1814.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 355.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10985915493 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88169702476 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.583098591549 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 567.9 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.9217857635 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.705882353 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8823529412 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35294117647 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178513360876 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0542802810268 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0525215194523 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0926469161553 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0580409622063 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.3 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.