The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
"Recently, there have been discussions about ending Grove College's century-old tradition of all-female education by admitting male students into our programs. At a recent faculty meeting, a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. However, Grove students, both past and present, are against the idea of coeducation. Eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Therefore, we recommend maintaining Grove College's tradition of all-female education. We predict that keeping the
college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
The president of Grove College recommends giving up traditional all-female education and begin admitting men so as to increase the enrollment, but the director of the alumnae association oppose to this plan. However, several questions in both arguments need to be addressed to make the suggestion more convincing.
As other all-female colleges have adopted coeducation so as to successfully increase the applications and enrollment, the author claims Grove College could get the same effect by doing the policy other schools performing before. Still, the author fails to consider some possible differences between Grove College and other colleges that might help to bring about a different result for Grove College. For example, if other schools making this change are located in a big city, the convenient traffic and hugely potential students pool would assure them of attracting students. However, if Grove College is in a rural area, it is unlikely that adopting the same policy will boost the number of students. Therefore, without accounting for these and other possible dissimilarities, the author cannot assume that what resulted in increasing applications and enrollment in other colleges would bring about the same result in Grove College.
Now turning to the director of the alumnae association. Citing annual surveys of incoming students and Grove alumnae, the author claims all-female college is the most important thing for them. Nevertheless, how many people finish the surveys? Sample survey should be able to represent all students in the Grove college or all graduates in the alumnae association, whereas in the argument, lacking information about the number of students and graduates surveyed and the number of respondents, it is impossible to access the validity of the results. For example, if 2000 people were surveyed but only 20 responded, the conclusion that the director claims would be highly suspect.
Even if the number of respondents is extremely sufficient, a standard procedure of sample survey needs to be assured. Nonetheless, we find no sign of such processes for a random sample and have good reasons to doubt whether the sample is representative enough to reflect the general attitude of the students and graduates as a whole. For instance, perhaps the surveyors only selected the respondents highly supporting all-female education and neglected those advocating coeducation. Or perhaps the teacher asked students to fill out the survey in the class, and the students knew the teacher having an inclination for all-female education, so they showed a positive attitude to the tradition so as to avoid damaging their GPA. Therefore, the consequence deduced by the survey would be misleading.
In conclusion, both the president and the director need to address the questions as above mentioned to strengthen the argument.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 446 350
No. of Characters: 2364 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.596 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.3 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.841 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.173 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The president of Grove College recommend...
^^^^
Line 1, column 114, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...emale education and begin admitting men so as to increase the enrollment, but the direct...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o make the suggestion more convincing. As other all-female colleges have adopte...
^^^^
Line 2, column 59, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...emale colleges have adopted coeducation so as to successfully increase the applications ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...out the same result in Grove College. Now turning to the director of the alumn...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rector claims would be highly suspect. Even if the number of respondents is ext...
^^^^
Line 4, column 696, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ed a positive attitude to the tradition so as to avoid damaging their GPA. Therefore, th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ced by the survey would be misleading. In conclusion, both the president and th...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, nevertheless, nonetheless, so, still, then, therefore, whereas, as to, for example, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2416.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 446.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41704035874 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94285906451 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497757847534 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 754.2 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.00671717 57.8364921388 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.222222222 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7777777778 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.16666666667 5.70786347227 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1519383871 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.049648359119 0.0743258471296 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0604723666309 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0797578320595 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.059321104605 0.0628817314937 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.