The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
There is hardly any real evidence that could ever support the claim of the report publicized in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council. The claim is actually so implausible and unconvincing it is almost funny. There are so many wholes in the logic and the presentation of this claim it is really hard to note them all in a short essay so we will try to point the reader to few of the more noticeable ones.
First and foremost, the one thing I do remeber most of my MIT introduction to programming online class was one of the lecturer emphasize on the “Correlation does not imply causation”, and here is a classic appearance of this phenomena. It might be true that there are more fish consumption in East Meria. And, it might be true that the schoolers in East Meria catch less colds and that they skip less days, but there could be so many other reasons for West Merians to skip school, other than fish comsumption. To name a few, the school in East Meria might be better so the kids feel happy to attend it. Or the East Meria soci-economic metric is more fonding of education. Those other reason making the picking of the fish consumprion seem to be forced and unnatural. Thus, the correlation itself is not enough to be looked as a cause that can be relied upon action.
Another dubious part is that the council reccomends a specific supplament derived from fish oil rather than to eat real fish. Taking supplament and eating raw food is hardly the same thing. Moreover, if the people of East Meria can afford to eat raw fish it is highly likely that the people of West Meria can afford to buy fish in more or less the same price. Therefore, the choice of supplament is qustainable and is undermining the previous assumption that fish consumption wil improve the colds. It is more corrigible to suggest a consumption of real fish rather than any derivative of fishery. Especialy under the given information of proximity and data of East and West Meria.
The proper way to rais the school attendence should be by carrying a detailed comparission between East and West Meria. What are the schools like. Is there any factory that carrys out a risk of pulotion to the West Merians? There are many questions to be anwered in such a survey. After there is an ample amount of data, only then could the commity come with a good solution path to make less abstenteesims. The fact the the absents reported on schools and workplace alike hints on a deeper reason than sole consumption of fish which should be researched and analyzed more in order to come with a valid solution.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 387, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...ssay so we will try to point the reader to few of the more noticeable ones. Fir...
^^
Line 3, column 231, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...s;, and here is a classic appearance of this phenomena. It might be true that there ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 377, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun colds is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... that the schoolers in East Meria catch less colds and that they skip less days, but...
^^^^
Line 3, column 407, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun days is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ria catch less colds and that they skip less days, but there could be so many other ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 481, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (wil) must be used with a third-person verb: 'improves'.
Suggestion: improves
...us assumption that fish consumption wil improve the colds. It is more corrigible to sug...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 418, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...th to make less abstenteesims. The fact the the absents reported on schools and workpla...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 418, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...th to make less abstenteesims. The fact the the absents reported on schools and workpla...
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'moreover', 'really', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'thus', 'more or less']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.241035856574 0.25644967241 94% => OK
Verbs: 0.147410358566 0.15541462614 95% => OK
Adjectives: 0.111553784861 0.0836205057962 133% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0557768924303 0.0520304965353 107% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0258964143426 0.0272364105082 95% => OK
Prepositions: 0.109561752988 0.125424944231 87% => OK
Participles: 0.0338645418327 0.0416121511921 81% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.65647272096 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0358565737052 0.026700313972 134% => OK
Particles: 0.00199203187251 0.001811407834 110% => OK
Determiners: 0.113545816733 0.113004496875 100% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0239043824701 0.0255425247493 94% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00996015936255 0.0127820249294 78% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2604.0 2731.13054187 95% => OK
No of words: 464.0 446.07635468 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.61206896552 6.12365571057 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64119157421 4.57801047555 101% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.280172413793 0.378187486979 74% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.178879310345 0.287650121315 62% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.129310344828 0.208842608468 62% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0991379310345 0.135150697306 73% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65647272096 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 207.018472906 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506465517241 0.469332199767 108% => OK
Word variations: 58.4303213943 52.1807786196 112% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.039408867 110% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0909090909 23.2022227129 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7692449087 57.7814097925 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.363636364 141.986410481 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0909090909 23.2022227129 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.545454545455 0.724660767414 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.14285714286 78% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 3.58251231527 195% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 38.9788401254 51.9672348444 75% => OK
Elegance: 1.67826086957 1.8405768891 91% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.440878418074 0.441005458295 100% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.118537468206 0.135418324435 88% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0811233448407 0.0829849096947 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.520776751101 0.58762219726 89% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.130429155559 0.147661913831 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.182356060705 0.193483328276 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0776766388421 0.0970749176394 80% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.478724303619 0.42659136922 112% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.027043628226 0.0774707102158 35% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.344677072634 0.312017818177 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0286366162755 0.0698173142475 41% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.33743842365 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.87684729064 58% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.82512315271 187% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 7.0 6.46551724138 108% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.82389162562 35% => OK
Total topic words: 10.0 14.657635468 68% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.