The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this given report the writer suggests that with the daily use of Ichthaid which is derives from fish oil prevent West Meria people from cold. The writer mentioned solution for cold because he thinks the cold is reason for absenteeism in schools and workplaces in East Meria region. The recommendation is based on assumptions which are seems invincible to readers. There are loopholes in assumptions made by writer in the given argument.
Firstly, the writer assumes that the major reason behind absentees is cold. There are no evidences related to the assumption made by the writer, nevertheless writer don't even mentioned the weather conditions of East Meria and not even discussed about research based on absentees. Absenteeism has seen by council, but they are not finding concert reason behind it. It may plausible that people don't like working environment, or they have authoritative leaders that's why they discontinue the work again and again. As following elders’ behavior, the children also do not attend the school. Before suggesting advice for any problem one should find the root cause of problem.
Secondly, the writer guide to West Meria Public Health Council about nutritional supplements to deal with cold. This idea come from East Meria where people consume fish in much quantity. Because of consumption of fish people are healthy and visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of cold. It is not scientifically suggested these people are healthy because of fish. It may be possible they use some herbs to cook fish which increases their immunity against cold. In East region the weather conditions may better than West region which is also cause of cold. Without analyses the problem we cannot jumped to the conclusion which the writer did.
Additionally, the author relies heavily upon the fact the reasons given for absences from school and work were colds. It might probably be the situation that, people falsely pretend to have reported colds in order to validate their absence. Above all, the author seems to be inconsiderate when he claims that Ichthaid (a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil) will help in preventing colds and lessening absenteeism. The people of the place which the author is considering, may not be able to afford this supplement. It might even be the case that the manufacturing procedure for this supplement is complex or people may be allergic to the use of this supplement. When it is not known that, if people will even dare to use this supplement, it is not correct to argue that it will achieve the intended results.
Thus, the argument has flaws in assumption and the writer explained the results without evidences. So the argument needs to reviewed before recommending any solution.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2019-10-18 | sakshee | 72 | view |
| 2019-08-30 | Dona Shin | 72 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 459 350
No. of Characters: 2266 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.629 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.937 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.606 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.36 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.228 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 166, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...made by the writer, nevertheless writer dont even mentioned the weather conditions o...
^^^^
Line 3, column 394, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...behind it. It may plausible that people dont like working environment, or they have ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 460, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...ent, or they have authoritative leaders thats why they discontinue the work again and...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 568, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'caused'.
Suggestion: caused
...y better than West region which is also cause of cold. Without analyses the problem w...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 400, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... granted without validating statistics. Hence the author must properly establish on w...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, then, thus, as to, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 82.0 55.5748502994 148% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2983.0 2260.96107784 132% => OK
No of words: 581.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13425129088 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90957651803 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77602962586 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 275.0 204.123752495 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.473321858864 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 904.5 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.4105886984 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.862068966 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0344827586 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.96551724138 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0771653021654 0.218282227539 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0258796379451 0.0743258471296 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0365061832221 0.0701772020484 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0518134005021 0.128457276422 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0265924635062 0.0628817314937 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 140.0 98.500998004 142% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.