"The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The recomendation by the Super Screen Movie Production Company memo concludes that a greater share of its budget needs to be allocated next year for advertising, however there are several unwarranted assumptions stated by the Super Screen Movie Production Company which makes its main conclusion weak. In the following paragraphs I will point out some of the unwarranted assumptions that will make the argument flawed and how it can be strenghtened by providing supporting facts or figures.
Firstly, the company assumes that the exisiting advertisements targeted at its consumers are not reaching them. The assumption here is unjustified as there could be a possiblility that the advertisements are reaching the prospective viewers but are simply not entertaining. The ads might not actually be highlighting the important aspects of the Production Company. If this is the case then the company should focus on increasing the quality of its ads rather than focusing on the volume of its ads reachability.
Secondly, the passage does not justify the number of people who gave posiitive reviews about its specific Super Screen movies. We definitely know that the people who attended the previous year were more than the current year but that is not alone enough to tell that the number of people who gave reviews this year were more than previous year. For example, say last year 14 people attended and out of them 7 gave positive reviews that is about 50% gave positive reviews. And this year say 6 attended and 5 gave positive reviews, which is >90%. This does not suggest anything about how good the movie was because maybe the movie goers who turned out this year were already influenced by the director of the movie. It could be that people who did not turn out this time if they had happened to come may not have liked the movie at all.
Therefore the above are some of the assumptions that if justifications were provided with details and examples could strengthen the passage. The main conclusion could by made strong by providing the specificity of how many consumers did it reach and probably what content is being showcased in its ads like is it relevant to their product. Staistics could enhance the 2nd para.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1821 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.882 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.705 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.204 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 348, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...e following paragraphs I will point out some of the unwarranted assumptions that will make ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 367, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...tant aspects of the Production Company. If this is the case then the company shoul...
^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... not have liked the movie at all. Therefore the above are some of the assumptions t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 25, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...e at all. Therefore the above are some of the assumptions that if justifications were...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1904.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 373.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10455764075 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74268106945 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.506702412869 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 574.2 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.8344025065 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.933333333 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8666666667 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.6 5.70786347227 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.164483587914 0.218282227539 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0519594045892 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0536097514189 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0882642761188 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0662086635103 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.