The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise Currently the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away t

<p>The author of the memo suggested that their new jazz music club in Monroe will be commercially successful since the fond toward jazz music within the population, the projected spending on entertainment, and the lack of jazz club in Monroe. The reasoning from the author seems convincing, but some questions were left unanswered and could possibly undermine her statement.</p>

<p>The author implies that the residents in Monroe are fascinated by jazz music by indicating that over 100,000 people attended the annual jazz festival, the best-rating radio program in Monroe is about jazz, and several popular jazz stars were from Monroe. Nevertheless, all these evidence rose questions about the association with the implication of the residents in Monroe favor jazz music. For example, the audience at the annual jazz festival weren't necessarily local; the jazz festival could be so famous that all jazz fans from adjacent cities were willing to travel to Monroe to participate the festival, while the local residents were merely a small group of the audience. And by pointing out that jazz is the most popular genre on radio programs couldn't lead to the conclusion that the residents likes jazz. Some critical questions, such as, the number of other radio programs in the region, the ratio of audience who listens to radio to the whole population, and the quality of programs from other radio stations, should be answered to further evaluate the statement. If 'Jazz Nightly' was the best radio program in the area for reasons other than the population indeed enjoy the program, the statement would be concluded unsupported. </p>

<p>Furthermore, the writer argued that the lack of jazz clubs and the projected expense on entertainment would lead to a commercial success for their new jazz club. Else, the question that what amount of money were the jazz fans willing to spend on a jazz club needs to be answered. If most of the $1,000 annual jazz expense were used on concerts and purchasing albums, there wouldn't be much money left for spending on a local jazz club; therefore starting a business of jazz club wasn't guaranteed to be successful.</p>

<p>In conclusion, the applicant should answer two critical questions, whether the local residents in Monroe were interested in jazz music or not and what amount of money were the jazz fans in the region were willing to spend on a jazz club, to make his loan application more convincing.</p>

Votes
Average: 6 (2 votes)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 336, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...some questions were left unanswered and could possibly undermine her statement.

The ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 449, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
...he audience at the annual jazz festival werent necessarily local; the jazz festival co...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 757, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...he most popular genre on radio programs couldnt lead to the conclusion that the residen...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 295, Rule ID: THE_PUNCT[1]
Message: Did you forget something after 'the'?
...z club needs to be answered. If most of the ,000 annual jazz expense were used on con...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 298, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...lub needs to be answered. If most of the ,000 annual jazz expense were used on con...
^^
Line 5, column 375, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...n concerts and purchasing albums, there wouldnt be much money left for spending on a lo...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 480, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...refore starting a business of jazz club wasnt guaranteed to be successful.

...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, nevertheless, so, therefore, while, for example, in conclusion, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2047.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 402.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.092039801 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74969255343 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.480099502488 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 604.8 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 40.0 22.8473053892 175% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 125.436198922 57.8364921388 217% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 204.7 119.503703932 171% => OK
Words per sentence: 40.2 23.324526521 172% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.3 5.70786347227 163% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343708975087 0.218282227539 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.163976017712 0.0743258471296 221% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0777479951269 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236205894664 0.128457276422 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329278586565 0.0628817314937 52% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.6 14.3799401198 157% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.34 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.7 12.197005988 145% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.13 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 29.0 12.3882235529 234% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 18.0 11.1389221557 162% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 1982 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.799 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.595 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.003 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.471 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.638 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.195 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5