The recommendation asserts that city of Amburg will have reduced vandalism rate if the city installs high-intensity light in its business district. The author provides many reasons of support, but it is inadequate and groundless.
At first, the author assumes that decreased rate of vandalism in Belleville district is solely due to installation of lighting. However, since he does not provide any evidence for it, the author assumption is unwarranted. There may be other reasons for decrease. Strict punishment against the vandalism if caught, or presence of camera in the street which increases there chance of being caught may preclude them causing such act. Thus, if causes reduction in vandalism are anything but lighting, then installation of light in Amburg district will not provide expected outcome and there will be loss of government budget.
Second, the author assumes analogy between two districts without giving any justifiable evidence. If the lessening of vandalism in Belleville district is due to lightening, how can it also cause reduction in Amburg district? The people of two cities may be different in behavioral aspect. The Belleville city people may be lenient or coy so they are timid of performing such act in presence of light. However, people of Amburg district may be unyielding, and will continue their activities in presence of light also. Thus, the author should consider the various façade of two cities before applying the recommendation.
Third, the author maintains that inhibition of crime rates can revitalize the declining neighborhood of city. However, the author does not provide any statistical data showing that the decrease in neighborhood is due to its high crime rate. The city may be struggling with other dire problem such as having squalid residence or unemployment, so they may be compelled to leave the city. Therefore, the reasons for decrease in residence must be evaluated thoroughly.
Therefore, the recommendation the author provide lacks of compelling evidence. The premise such as decrease in reason for vandalism in Belleville district, two common aspects of cities and cause of decline in residence of Amburg district should be thoroughly investigated.
- GRE Argument:The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce."Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month 50
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- TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa 85
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 512, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...e their activities in presence of light also. Thus, the author should consider the v...
^^^^
Line 7, column 255, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ue to its high crime rate. The city may be struggling with other dire problem su...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1881.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 347.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42074927954 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31600926901 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97675134882 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.489913544669 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 583.2 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.471057884232 212% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.7865496002 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.0 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2631578947 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47368421053 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187362126632 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0674687519492 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0798418282163 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142287550145 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.075790058135 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.