Homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last year that region experienced twenty days with below-average temperatures, and local weather forecasters throughout the region predict that this weather pattern will continue for several more years. Furthermore, many new homes have been built in this region during the past year. Because of these developments, we predict an increased demand for heating oil and recommend investment in Consolidated Industries, one of whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil.
The author of this memo predicts that in the future years the demands for heating oil in the region of northeastern united states will be increased since the last years citizens experience a twenty- days period of cold weather and forecaster predict that mentioned temperature continue in the region. He also states that many new homes in the area are built; hence the author suggests that in the future many industries related to the heating oil in region will be started. The close scrutiny of this argument reveals that all mentioned facts based on some doubtful assumptions.
First of all, the writer claims that because of twenty days of harsh weather people heat oil in future. The author fails to see other factors affecting this assumption. It is entirely possible that the data which forecaster worked on them were not precise since the prediction is local and inaccurate. In the winter below zero temperature in many parts of the world is predictable.
Second, the increase in the numbers of new homes in the region means that people need more oil to heat, according to the author of the memo. Rolling out this preposition shows that this is not the case since the author should provide more categorical evidence about types of homes in the region. Perhaps the new homes belong to current habitats of the region not new residents from other cities. Old homes in the region are old-fashioned since people no longer are able to live in them.
Third, the author states that in the future there is a favorable need to heating oil in the region, so business operation related to consolidated industries in the region is must. The author fails to consider that it is possible in the future people no longer use the oil as major source of heating the homes. Perhaps the citizens use other alternative energy source like gas to heat their homes, or utilizing suitable materials in the building to isolate the heat.
To sum up, the author provides some unsubstantiated evidence about the future of business related to the oil in the Northeastern region of United States. The author should provide more information about the weather and climate changes in the area, and quality of homes in the region and their characteristics to prevent heat to escape from homes.
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argument 1 -- not OK. In GRE/GMAT, we have to accept all data or evidence are true. You may say: maybe there are other days with above-average temperatures.
argument 2 -- partly OK.
argument 3 -- OK but need more. Look: 'and recommend investment in Consolidated Industries....'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 387 350
No. of Characters: 1848 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.435 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.775 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.52 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.188 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.029 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.312 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.409 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.612 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5