An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Although this recommendation displays a chronological logic about the outcome of a new variety of high vitamin A millet distributed to the nation of Tagus, it leaves several questions unanswered and makes assumptions that weaken its argument. In order for this recommendation to become truly meaningful, the author would have to answer the question of whether there are confounding variables influencing the vitamin A deficiency, if the people of Tagus truly do have the ability of adapting to these new varieties of millet, and the long term impact of the new crop on all aspects of Tagus life.
One very important factor completely disregarded by the recommendation, is the possibility of confounding variables unrelated to diet that may have influenced this vitamin A deficiency in the Tagus people. What other factors may have contributed to this health crisis? What undeniable proof is there for a lack of vitamin A being caused by diet alone? These questions may very well lead to a completely different source of the problem. Answering these questions would allow the author to rule out other causes of, and, therefore, possible alternatives to solving the vitamin A deficiency problem.
Another aspect that remains untouched throughout the recommendation is if the Tagus people will be able to adapt to the new variety of millet. Has a small population of the Tagus people tried the new millet? Does this new millet impose other allergy or health related problems? Specific details about this particular type of engineered millet are completely left out of the recommendation. The argument will greatly increase in strength once the author assures the readers that the people will actually be able to adapt to the new food and that no new problems will arise.
In addition to leaving out specifications for the new millet, the author also fails to mention any long term effects this new millet may have relating to health, agriculture, environment, and the economy. Will these genetically modified varieties of millet cause any other issues for the people in the future? Are these new crops sustainable for both the environment and the economy? How long can the government fund the new subsidies for the farmers to plant the more expensive crops, and what would the outcome be if a deficiency in funds could no longer offset costs for the farmers? The author does not address how the outcomes of implementing this new millet will impact the citizens of Tagus for generations to come, particularly if a diet based vitamin A deficiency is a long term problem. Sustainability is an important factor to consider for the safeguard of the next generation.
In conclusion, the recommendation does contain some logic despite the many questions the author leaves unanswered such as the effect of confounding variables influencing the health crisis and the ability of the Tagus people to adapt to the new millet. Answering these questions would greatly strengthen the argument and potentially influence the government of Tagus to implement this new type of millet. However, without answers to these questions, the recommendation lends itself as being fairly useless.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
need to argue according to the topic. for example:
While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet.
we may argue like:
maybe the subsidies can't cover the cost.
Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety.
we may argue like:
maybe people don't like the taste.
To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
we may argue like:
maybe there are better solutions.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2610 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.088 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.899 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 76 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.79 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 337, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
...ingful, the author would have to answer the question of whether there are confounding variables influen...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, may, so, then, therefore, well, in addition, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2666.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 513.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19688109162 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96357719087 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440545808967 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 840.6 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.2903073807 57.8364921388 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.952380952 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4285714286 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.80952380952 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.405857253312 0.218282227539 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.135541276137 0.0743258471296 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688650640733 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.243166395069 0.128457276422 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0876000844486 0.0628817314937 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 29.0 12.3882235529 234% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.