An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The recommendation by an international development organization is to increase the cultivation of a new breed of millet which is higher in composition of Vitamin A than already existing one. The recommendation is based on the studies revealing a deficiency of Vitamin A among people in impoverished nations of Tagus. The argument is not backed by sufficient data and records. Hence the implementation of such a practice might not lead to useful results.
The claim is that a new breed of millet high rich in vitamin A has been engineered. Since the breed is newer one, we do not know the results of its cultivation in the areas of Tagus. There can be differences in the weather requirements for the cultivation of the new breed of millet compared to the older one. Perhaps, the nations of Tagus may not have suitable weather or land conditions for the newer breed. Also, we cannot ascertain the efficacy of the new breed of millet high on the population of Tagus. It might happen that the results may not turn out that helpful in mitigating vitamin A deficiency in the people of Tagus.
Moreover, it is also likely that the farmers of those nation do not want to adapt the newer breed of millet. They might be reluctant to spend more money on the cultivation of newer breed of millet as it is stated that the cost of seeds for the newer breed is more. Hence we cannot predict the outcomes of adapting such recommendation in the nation. We cannot predict if the farmers of the nation will willingly accept the change. Had something been mentioned about how the people of the nation are excited for the change, or how some farmers have already adapted the change the argument have had a better plausibility.
It is stated that millet is a staple food in Tagus. This might be an overall data. It might happen that the nations of Tagus which are impoverished and lack in vitamin A do not consume millet as readily as other nations of the same country. So, even if a newer breed of millet is introduced, which is richer in vitamin A, it would not necessarily benefit in eradicating the vitamin deficiency in the impoverished nations. As those nations are not likely to consume millet on a large-scale. Also, even if they do consume millet it is not guaranteed that they will adapt the newer breed. OT might happen that the newer breed differ in taste which reduces its liking among the people. Hence, we cannot assure the adoption of newer breed of millet among the people, especially the impoverished ones.
The argument has made a recommendation to substitute a breed of millet in nations of Tagus by a new breed developed. It claims that this would help in reducing the vitamin deficiency among the people. But we understand from above mentioned points that the recommendation is not backed by strong evidence. Hence, the results of implementing the change cannot be ascertained to be as positive as they are claimed to be.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 512 350
No. of Characters: 2367 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.757 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.623 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.754 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.963 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.647 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 318, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...eople in impoverished nations of Tagus. The argument is not backed by sufficient da...
^^^
Line 1, column 377, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... backed by sufficient data and records. Hence the implementation of such a practice m...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 49, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this nation' or 'those nations'?
Suggestion: this nation; those nations
..., it is also likely that the farmers of those nation do not want to adapt the newer breed of...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...t of seeds for the newer breed is more. Hence we cannot predict the outcomes of adapt...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 169, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ch are impoverished and lack in vitamin A do not consume millet as readily as other ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 423, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...deficiency in the impoverished nations. As those nations are not likely to consume...
^^
Line 13, column 476, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[1]
Message: Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
...ons are not likely to consume millet on a large-scale. Also, even if they do consume millet i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, moreover, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2433.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 512.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.751953125 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75682846001 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79776685763 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.369140625 0.468620217663 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 786.6 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.2333247672 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1111111111 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.962962963 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.44444444444 5.70786347227 25% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.460956692989 0.218282227539 211% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.134496221855 0.0743258471296 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0833935480112 0.0701772020484 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.276519571273 0.128457276422 215% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0407460991259 0.0628817314937 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.27 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.